If some people could make a living out of being bitches, they'd be rich.

In slang, a bitch is defined as a "malicious, unpleasant and selfish person"

Most people have a set of people they can get along with, and a set of those that they can't. And for those that they don't get along with, they simply ignore or allow them to fade out of their lives until they no longer matter. That is perfectly normal, mature, and acceptable behaviour. Bitches however, insist on making life difficult for people they don't like, simply because they can, and it gives them pleasure to do so.

Unlike the non-bitchy, who use straightforward means to show dislike because they are nice, or too simple minded to resort to emotional manipulation, bitches can be extremely adversarial.

For most people, when other people cross their path, they complain about it, but they forget about it after awhile because they have goldfish memories. They gullibly assume that everyone loves them, which makes them endearing and frustrating in equal measure.

The thing about a bitch is, if anyone has crossed her path, she doesn't forget. And if she is unpleasant enough, she will continue to harbour ill will towards these people. The word bitch also means "female dog." But unfortunately, female dogs are actually lovable animals. They do not deserve this association. The variety of bitch I'm talking about, hell wouldn't have enough space to keep her. It's probably already overflowing with her kind.

A bitch will not openly show ill will. She will pretend to maintain cordial relations, but take digs at you on her blog, on facebook, around her friends who may happen to be your friends too, and in any other social media, basically in any way that allows her to attack you passively and aggressively so you know that the attacks are directed at you, and yet you are hard pressed to get the bitch to admit it. Because she is a bitch, she enjoys knowing that you are affected by what she is doing. It is this pleasure in causing hurt and suffering to others that I find absolutely disgusting.

When confronted, this variety of bitch also has a way of playing the victim card, so it always looks like you're the one who's being mean. You can't attack her without looking like the bad guy, simply because the bitch is attacking you indirectly.

There is only one way to kill a bitch, and that is to ignore her. Ironically, all bitches have this weakness, and that is they actually crave the attention that comes from knowing you are affected by them. All bitches are just sad attention whores. Once people get tired of the games they play, they will literally find that they have run out of listening ears. It gets a little harder with facebook because there is always an audience, but eventually, people will find more interesting things to follow.

Local dramas epic fail.

I was watching the 9pm show on Mediacorp and I realised that the dramas nowadays were really quite bad. There was a scene where Chen Hanwei said that he saw his daughter with some dude, but he relaxed because he saw the dude had spectacles and looked very "si wen", or gentle. I was like okay I guess that's a cause for "celebration".

But later when I saw this supposed gentle dude, I was like in what way does he look gentle. The only thing he had going for him was a pair of glasses. He had dyed hair with highlights (damn freaking ah beng sorry) that was way too long for a secondary school kid, his shirt was tucked out, and I couldn't even stand his face. He did not look gentle at all, he looked more like some teenage ah beng who had picked up a pair of glasses at Bugis Street.

And he couldn't even pull off his act properly. He was supposed to act like a pervert. He had the face for it, all he had to do was act. But he actually made being a pervert look like an art. I thought it was a very simple thing really, but he actually managed to make it awkward, which led me to reason that either his acting sucks or his female co-star cannot make it.

Okay la, it takes two hands to clap. I would say it was both.

I thank my lucky stars that I have cable TV sometimes.

the 25th of november.

It's the 25th of November. By all accounts, a very ordinary day, just like the many before it. I'm seated in front of my laptop again, and listening to a song that is a throwback to my younger days in a symphonic band. And in the middle of this song, there is an English horn solo that never fails to make time stop, and life quieten down for me.

It reminds me of a slow trek through chestnut and maple hued woods, where my feet rustle up the fallen leaves even as I smell autumn in the air. A light breeze lifts the edges of my hair, and it sends a couple of leaves drifting towards me. I walk into the middle of the woods where there is a little lake, and a group of grey ducks with bottle green heads float on by.

And I find that it is this peace I need. After a semester that has been mostly rough, confusing at times, simply frustrating at others, I'm finally facing what is probably the biggest test, the exam for the media management core that has defined the semester for me.

I've read the notes so many times I no longer know what I know or don't know anymore. I just want to get it done with, and after that, everything comes full circle.

Hitler Cannot S/U His Exams

Dreams.

Sometimes, in my dreams, I wake up in cobblestone streets, the path ahead weaving as far as my eye can see, between washed out yellow walls caked with grime and dust. A car rushes by, spewing a cloud of smoke into me even as a lady two floors up on a balcony whips out a red cloth and folds it over the metal railing. She sees a neighbour two units away, and calls out to her in a language I do not recognise. I hear the distant wail of an ambulance siren, and somewhere around the corner an accordion is playing a melody that seems all too familiar, and yet all too foreign. I walk past an ancient store. I know not what it sells behind the dust caked windows with dull red lettering, and I hear a bell chime as the door opens and closes in tune with customers entering and leaving.

I close my eyes again, and now I am atop a mountain. To one side I see the sea, the surf lapping up the beach, the clouds floating by in the breeze. The sun hurts my eyes as it filters in through the clouds, and the strong winds whip against my face as I make my way to the other side of the summit, where an ancient city sprawls below me. I feel a sense of awe flooding over me, as my eyes take in the vista that now unfolds like a carpet before me, of buildings and roads and everything in between. My eyes follow the railway, a giant scar upon a sea of land parcels, as it leads out of the metropolis and over the hills beyond.

And my dreams change again, and I am on a bus in a highway, half awake. I must have slept. I look out of the window, and I see rolling pastures of green, and fields of yellow flowers that stretch out for miles on end. I see hillsides flocked with specks of white, each a grazing furry sheep. I see chestnut mares cantering alongside, and cows swaying their heads slowly to the rhythm of the afternoon breeze. A road sign in green rushes up. Another twenty minutes.

And I am in the city now, in a railway station somewhere. People rush by me, and the air overhead is constantly punctuated by an operator calling out the timings of the next few trains. A big board with orange letterings appears in the distance, and my eyes squint to follow the small line of running text below to see if my destination is amongst them. I smell a waft of something buttery from a nearby patisserie, and I see a florist in the distance wrapping up a pretty bouquet of yellow and purple flowers in plastic. A commuter in a hurry bumps into me from the side. He rushes off without saying sorry, another face that melts into the crowd. A cold sharp wind blows through the whole station, whipping my ankles and sending scraps of paper fluttering askew. I suddenly feel as if I'm standing alone in the middle of a rushing sea, frozen in time, out of place, as the sound of the bustle around me begins to fade.

And suddenly I'm climbing a wide marble staircase. I feel my feet sink with every step into the carpet below, and as I ascend a great hall looms into view. I see floor to ceiling windows on both sides with drapes of velvet, and portraits of great men long dead interspersed between each. Above these portraits I see swords, crisscrossed into coats of arms. Several chandeliers hang overhead, and a long table with chairs in golden frames takes up the middle of the room, set as though waiting for a great feast.

And I wake. And I realise it was all a dream. And I realise that perhaps, my life was once a dream.

Exams are around the corner

The exams are around the corner again.

I'm sitting at the IRO swatting flies as I wait for the Students Services Centre to open, to pay my school fees on the first day of exam break because I'm actually afraid they might not release my results if I don't.

NTU has flooded my school mailbox and sent me a mailer to my house even reminding me that I owe them the better part of 400 bucks, compounded even more by the late fee. NTU, thou art a moneysucking bitch.

It isn't much fun chatting to anyone these days because everyone is getting a little snappy and jittery. Even a harmless joke gets pounced upon and ripped apart like a glaring faux pas, reminiscent of farting in the lift you are taking up to the ballroom for prom, nice suit and all, surrounded by a bevy of ladies in pretty dresses and perfect makeup. Could it get any worse?

Actually, yes. It would certainly get worse if you were to instinctively mouth off "Not me!" I have a pretty good feeling you'll be alone on the dance floor after that.

Massachusetts family of 6 lives off $4/wk for food

This woman must be the smartest housewife who ever lived.

I'm alive!

Ever endured a week so bad, even normalcy becomes a luxury in comparison? I think I just had one. It really makes one appreciate the small things that make life better, like getting that extra hour of sleep in, or getting to eat something you've craved in a long time as a surprise.

Yesterday I came home late after a long day and I found a tub of large KFC whipped potato waiting for me, one of my favourites. Although the day was really bad and I hadn't slept much in 3 days, just seeing that and having it to eat at midnight made me feel so much better inside.

I forgot about an irresponsible project mate, the harsh criticisms I endured from an instructor about a project draft, and the lack of sleep that resulted from thus.

Two days before, I had found myself almost at a wits' end. I just had a photoessay due at 10.15 the next morning disparaged. I was chasing my project partner for his section of a report due in two days, and here an instructor had just callously slammed my project without offering any constructive criticism.

When I messaged him about getting some feedback on my project, he sent back the answer that I did not have much time. I replied that "in a warped sense, that's where the fun starts." He told me that I had a really warped sense of humour, but he saluted it.

I was at a low, but I wanted to show him that I wasn't cowed. I gave him the best response I knew how, by putting together the best photoessay I could. It was a vindication the next day when he actually acknowledged my efforts. I had transformed my draft in just one night. But after that, I still had to spend the whole day tying up several other projects.

The potatoes warmed me inside. Amazing how starchy things can make up for a day that countless other people ruined just by existing. I'm in love with starchy tubers in gravy.

"Nobody" Robot - Nobody (By Wonder Girls)

These things can dance better than me. I should be so ashamed lol.

Don't mess with writers.

A month ago, my cousin went to a store in Vivocity to purchase a cable, but he met with an unsatisfactory level of customer service. Obviously miffed, he engaged my services to complain on his behalf. Below is the transcript of what happened. All emails with the exception of the replies from LG are written by me.

Round one

Unpleasant Experience with Counter Service Staff

Dear Customer Service Officer, I am writing to inform you about my dissatisfaction with the level of service I experienced in a LG Concept Store (VivoCity Branch) today at 3.30 p.m.

This afternoon, prior to my visit, I called your other stores at 1250 p.m, namely the Toa Payoh Branch, Tampines 1 Branch and ION Orchard Branch, to make enquires on the availability of the LG Mobile TV-OUT Cable.

I was informed that none currently carried the cable, and was recommended to check with the VivoCity Branch. Hence, I made a call to the VivoCity Branch. I made a total of 4 calls, at 1.01 p.m., 1.35 p.m, 2.09 p.m and 2.26 p.m. However, none were picked up.

With it being a weekend, I made a special trip down to VivoCity's LG Concept Store. Upon entry, a sales-lady helped me. I explained that I was looking for the LG TV-OUT CABLE. She brought me to the counter where I had an unpleasant experience. She informed her male colleague who looked to be in his thirties that I was looking for the LG TV-OUT Cable. The colleague was unwilling to help and just plainly replied, 'No Stocks.' He also had an extremely grouchy demeanor.

Following his reply, he went back to his work, leaving me and the sales-lady shocked at his attitude. Next, I asked if there were stocks coming soon, and he replied, "yes". However, I had to prompt him about when the stocks would be arriving, to which he replied "maybe 1-2 weeks time, not sure." I enquired further if any stores might be currently carrying the TV-Out Cable, and the sales-lady referred me to LG Service Centre, handling me a brochure to contact them. In the end, I left empty handed.

The attitude of this male colleague has left me with a extremely bad impression of the level of LG's customer service. My current impression is that LG does not put customer service high on its list of priorities, having employed such an obviously inept staff member to deal with customer queries.

Prior to this trip, I realised that sg.lge.com had no information on LG Mobile accessories. Nothing was displayed in the accessories section, such as earphones and TV-OUT cable, only information about the places I could purchase a LG Mobile Phone.

Left with no other option, I made calls to the shops, but it is obvious how that went. I believe the definition of the word "service" entails meeting the customer's needs, and it is hardly an impossible request for service staff to be attentive to customer queries. The saleslady certainly was, and hence I don't see why the guy should have problems doing the same. Even if he was having a bad day at work, it does not give him the right to treat customers badly.

Futhermore, a reputable company like LG should employ staff that are familiar with availability of their own inventories, while showing that they value my patronship of the brand, for example by taking note of my details so they can inform me when new stocks are available. I find it ridiculous that for all the money put into product development, such little attention is paid to the customer itself, when everyone knows that good service is the best sign that a brand takes their customers seriously.

I am currently using LG Renoir, and I have also recommended some LG products to my friends. Following my latest unpleasant encounter, I am considering boycotting future LG products because I am not confident your staff is capable enough to render assistance if I encounter problems with my products, and I will probably tell everyone I know to do the same. I hope that LG's customer service department will look into this case. I look forward to hearing from you.

Mr. -----------

Here was their first reply.

We understand that you wish to purchase the LG Renoir TV-Out cable, due to an acute shortage of stocks, therefore the TV-Out Cable is not available at any of our Concept Store outlets. However new production of the TV-Out Cable has just began and a new shipping will be arriving from Korea and will reach us on latest by the 4^th week of Oct 09. When the stocks have arrived, we will arrange for the delivery of the TV-Out cable to you, hence can you provide us with your address and contact number? This information will enable us to contact you should the delivery of the TV-Out Cables arrive earlier.

So we sent them the details he needed, and decided to give them up to the 4th week of October to reply. As expected, they did not, so in November, I decided to send them round two.

Hi Mr -------, I refer to your email dated 29 Sep 2009. In the following email, you mentioned that due to an acute shortage of stock, the TV-out cable is not available at any of your Concept Stores. You added that the latest shipment would arrive by latest the 4th week of Oct 09.

It is now November. I have yet to receive any updates, despite having waited 4 whole weeks. I am disappointed with the quality of customer service from LG.

Just because LG has forgotten about the problem doesn't mean it has conveniently disappeared. I get the impression that the date was mentioned in the email in an attempt to delay time and get me to forget about the whole situation, without any real intent to help me solve the problem whatsoever.

I expect an explanation, or I will boycott LG products in the future, and encourage other people to do so as well.

Upset Consumer -----------------

Upon receiving this email, the manager called to apologise, and offered to deliver the cable personally to my cousin's home. Upon delivery, he also told my cousin that the offending salesperson had been sent for retraining.

Serves them right.

The dilemma of inferiority

I'm sure every student has encountered such a situation once in their lives, when they are next in a presentation queue and the person before has just delivered a presentation of such stellar quality that anything you have prepared just pales in comparison.

It goes right down to your core, because you know that in going up and presenting your work will seem markedly inferior, and yet you have to make a show of it. It strikes at the insecurity that is buried within us, where we constantly feel that we are not good enough next to our more accomplished peers. Nobody wants to go up and look bad, and yet what do you know, you're about to become that person.

In short, it is a shit situation.

But I feel that such a situation really calls for courage and conviction. There is no getting around the fact that no matter what you do your work will be a shade of what has gone before. However, it takes a lot of courage to know that despite this, you are proud of what you have done, and hence you go up and put on the best show you can despite the fear eating you up inside. It also takes a lot of self-belief to have faith in your work and believe in presenting it the best way you can despite knowing it is subpar.

In front of a crowd, it is never any less intimidating, and I never feel any less nervous. But when the presentation begins, I find that I forget everything that has gone before, and the stage becomes mine. I make it mine, because what's past is already past, all the attention is now yours, and it is up to you to decide what you want to do with it. I read somewhere that courage is not about being without fear, it is about having fear and yet dealing with it, and I think it is very true.

Anyway, I think a personal philosophy of mine comes in best when faced with something like this. It's called "Salvage what you can." You may not get 10 out of 10, but that is not an excuse to not try and get 7 out of it, because 7 is still better than 0. Slow and steady wins the race anyway, and no war is won on single battles.

This is too funny.

Too smut for their own good?

I read this off the New Paper on Sunday

Three Singapore models have attracted controversy over a series of online videos, where they dress in bikinis while performing certain tasks.

Such tasks, which include tips on how to kiss a girl and suntanning on Orchard Road, has drawn criticism from netizens, who say they are a bad influence to the young, among other comments.

But the three women, all featured on television show S Factor, are unfazed. They say they never set out to be role models....

Here are my two cents on this article, especially on the "concerned" parents who took the moral high ground, once again.

Obviously the girls didn't set out to be role models. They just want your attention, and the more you complain about how immoral they are, the more attention they get. I find it so silly that Singaporeans are so gullible and just play into their hands. Honestly, if you just ignored them and stopped complaining, the whole thing would die down soon enough.

Nobody needs to hear your tripe about how their actions corrupt moral values because there have always been people doing all this stuff, and frankly 3 more girls doing it hardly makes a difference. If you really think that their content corrupts young innocent minds on the Internet, you haven't seen the depravity that exists online these days. If children really want to find this kind of stuff, nothing, and I repeat nothing you do can stop them from it. I mean, how hard is it to turn off that filter on Google? I think even emptying the "Recycle Bin" is harder.

Come on, when you were younger you did your own research too. And I bet you didn't tell your parents. Your children are just doing the same.

A new kind of subway seat.

No prizes for guessing who wears the pants in this one. The lengths some guys will go to for a romp in the sack can really be quite astonishing.

Technically, this seat in the train is probably reserved. However, if a pregnant lady comes in, should it function as a priority seat then? I mean, it's in a very convenient position for one, like near the doors.

I also wonder if this seat has a season parking label, since it is probably going to be functioning as a seat for the long term, like all future subway and bus rides, and I'm guessing no one else is allowed to use it.

Actually I'm sorry I even started this discussion. But I guess I couldn't help it since some guys prefer being furniture to being human.