8 -2, Arsenal?

I've been a proud Arsenal fan since like forever, way back in secondary school so long ago I can't even remember why I was a fan in the first place. I think I was drawn to their stylish manner of playing, bolstered by a rock solid defence. Yes, Arsenal used to have a good defence. Hell, Arsenal used to be a defensive and physical side. Much like Bolton is now. And it used to have a good goalkeeper. Now, why are these concepts so alien?

Maybe its because since the retirement of Tony Adams and David Seaman, since all those years, Wenger still hasn't found anybody to replace them. He's had a few pretenders, sure, but since those years, only Vermaalen has stood out as a real replacement. In between we've had clowns like Gallas. To Wenger's credit we've had very good fullbacks, Sagna and Cole, then Clichy, but some are gone now, because the club is in stagnation.

I really think Wenger is out of ideas. And even as the loyal fans stick to his track record, "In Arsene we trust" they say, the sad truth is this. He inherited a good goalkeeper and defence. He made one brilliant purchase at the point of his takeover, the midfielder Patrick Vieira, whom most Arsenal fans still remember fondly because he was such a phenomenal figure in the middle of the park. And Arsenal already had Bergkamp, all he had to do was buy Overmars and Petit, and the team was more or less complete.

But since then, since their retirements, he's been unable to figure out how to replicate it. It's been one way traffic. Wenger's renewal system has not worked. And despite the emergence of promising talent, it might seem that Wenger doesn't really get it right in the transfer market most of the time.

It's hardly his fault really, it is just that he hasn't figured out that maybe, the reason why his club were so successful in the start was because it was built on both old hands and new. And when a new generation of youngsters, most notably of them all Fabregas stepped up to the fore, there was still a solid core of veterans behind them.

A look at the current squad reveals just how much the youth policy has failed. The youths aren't stepping up enough, and there aren't any established old hands around to share their experience. The older players, like Arshavin, he was an unknown until he shone in Euro 2008, and the rest don't even earn a mention because they've been frankly, quite mediocre.

Fabregas has left, but he should have anyway because he would never have won anything here, not when he was expected to carry a team when he's barely 24. And Nasri, once the French player of the year, has ditched Arsenal for Man City.

This is effectively what Arsenal is left with. No senior players, youth players who are only too happy to hop onto other clubs when the big paychecks and a chance to win real trophies come along, and a manager who continues in his belief that he's still got it, when he hasn't had jackshit in six years, soon to be seven. Arsenal has become a feeder club, like Everton was for Man Utd, but even Everton's players like Phil Jagielka don't want to sign for Arsenal anymore.

The Arsenal fans often say things like "If not for Wenger, who else can we sign? Do you see a replacement?" They think that Wenger is Ferguson. Every club has changed managers, except for Man Utd, when results are not forthcoming. Just because Wenger has brought success, just because he's been around for a long time, doesn't mean that he's immune to being replaced.

The only manager who deserves not to be replaced is Ferguson, because he's still got it. I'm not saying that Wenger wasn't a good manager, he was, but perhaps, the modern game is moving too fast for him, and persisting with his style of managing isn't working. There are plenty of managers to sign, look at what Daglish is doing for Liverpool. It's just whether Arsenal is willing to break faith and sign them. And of course Ferguson doesn't want Wenger to leave, it would mean one less threat if he stays. He's such a wily bastard, don't you think he knows Wenger hasn't got it anymore. He's nice to him precisely because he doesn't see him as competition.

For one, Wenger isn't good at the transfer market in an age where the best teams all buy their best talents. Wayne Rooney isn't a Man Utd born and bred player. Neither was Ronaldo. Neither was Van Der Sar. Neither was Vidic. Most of Man Utd's best players were bought.

And look at Chelsea, or Man City, or Liverpool. They are all buying players. Top clubs buy good players. They don't save their cash, because there is no point in doing so. If you don't win, you don't bring in cash, and it becomes a tale of diminishing returns. If you keep winning, you never have to worry about cash.

Secondly, he's really bad at substitutions, but that may be because he doesn't have a deep squad to choose from, which is also his fault. But lastly, which may be perhaps the most fatal flaw, he seems immune to his own failings. The squad has been lightweight for a long time now, but he hasn't made the most obvious replacements to its spine. There is a reason why the changes are apparent, it's because they are actually needed. I find it amazing that Wenger was able to sell Fabregas and Nasri while staunchly believing that he didn't need to sign replacements for them. Those were the club's two best players. Where does Arsenal go from here?

Frankly, I don't know. I am a fan, but it's become too painful to support them anymore. I'm not quitting because they've stopped winning, I'm quitting because they look like they have lost themslves.

CNA Twitter fail

email lol-fest

Here's what the email account brought up this week.

Dear Wei Li

Welcome to ClassACT, a monthly e-zine by Nanyang Technological University (NTU).

This month, we read about a new ratings system which awarded NTU 5 stars, making it the only local university to achieve this stature. With this new achievement, NTU enters the same league as other internationally acclaimed universities.

But that's not the best part. The best part was the article lead.

A new QS Stars rating system places the University in an international league of acclaimed universities such as Cambridge and Stanford...

Right. NTU's a fine university, but please do not compare it to Cambridge or Stanford. It's like trying to say the S-League is on the same level as the Barclays Premier League.

And it went on to make this assertion

NTU has been consistently ranked within the top 100 universities of the world in the last seven years.

Really? I seem to remember a recent Straits Times article that made the front page, about how NTU slipped to 174 in rankings. I'm pretty sure that wasn't seven years ago.

But of course, to be fair, I actually went on to do some background research on the QS Stars system. And I found out on the webpage itself - http://www.topuniversities.com/qsstars/home that the QS Stars system is not impartial at all!

Here's what the webpage writes

"QS Stars is the innovative new ratings system for academic institututions from QS. QS Stars was designed in response to institution’s needs requesting an evaluation that assesses all their strengths, using more comprehensive indicators in addition to those used in the rankings.

Learn how QS Stars is shaking up the global university ratings system and why universities are signing up to get their QS Stars."

And of course, NUS and SMU aren't in the system because they simply haven't signed up to get themselves accredited. NTU is the only university from Singapore that has been rated, not the first. Well, it is the first, but that's only because it was quick to buy in, not because of merit on its part whatsoever.

So actually, I'm not wrong at all in saying that NTU bought this rating to make themselves look good, and there's more than a little vested interest here in rating NTU well, because NUS and SMU would then scramble to get similar ratings too, resulting in more business for QS Stars.

By the way NTU, you didn't make the top 5 list of universities in Asia on the QS website. But NUS is at 3.

looking at the presidential elections... as a plebeian

It's that time of the year again, the time to do your duty as a civic minded Singaporean and pay your taxes. But if you're a law-abiding one like me, you pay those every day. So what I really mean is, go vote in the Presidential elections.

If you're a plebeian like me, no matter who you vote, it is unlikely to have much impact on your life. The media will tell you otherwise, promising you doomsday scenarios of gridlocks in Parliament caused by presidents imbued with vetoes bursting with godliness.

These vetoes that they are talking about portend the coming of an apocalyptic age, where a single man can stop bills in their tracks, and usher in successive new ages of Progress Packages funded by the reserves that have been squirreled away for eternity till Singapore goes bankrupt.

It's like insurance, you see it only when you're dead, which means you never see it, but you know it's there. It's the whole reason why you're paying taxes. Right? Now, if its really your money, why the secrecy about it? How do I know the patricians aren't using it to buy golden taps in their bathrooms. One of them did, once.

Yes, this is exactly the kind of question plebeians ask. If you don't like it, or if you think that it's retarded, don't forget that when it comes to the vote, my vote counts as much as yours. Crying shame isn't it. You can quote Machiavelli, I'll quote the auntie at my local NTUC who always tells me that the government only knows how to raise prices.

Now, they are actually telling you that the Presidency is effectively a useless office, because the Constitution said so. I always kind of suspected that Nathan was useless, but its nice to have them confirm it in the papers again and again. It's also very nice to know that we pay a man four million dollars a year so he can sit in an office and not do jackshit. It's like the facebooking receptionist, but at least she makes me coffee when she's not stalking somebody.

Do you know how many kids I could feed in Africa with four million dollars? Okay, that's a stupid question. None, because you can't eat money. Hurhur.

Anyway, all this veto nonsense, it's all bullshit. We all know that only one man has any real veto power in Singapore. His name is White Thunder God, alias Harry Lee. Say one thing out of line, and he'll strike you down with lightning so hard your bones will shake even six feet under, and all your descendants will lose their pink ICs.

But some candidates still don't get it that the President isn't a one man opposition party. He can't even vote on bills, all he can do is advise. If the thunder gods aren't going to listen to the one third of Singapore that can't stand having them in office, why would they listen to one man, even if he can manage a 100 million dollars? Because he's the President? Hahahaha.

He had best better stay impartial, which is a synonym for "don't do anything political, just go around carrying babies, shaking hands and attending community events." And oh, don't forget, every year you have to put on a show at the National Day Parade like a circus monkey.

The wannabes want to be a champion for the masses. Sure, but if you're seeking immortality as the greatest president who ever lived, forget it. The last guy who did a fantastic job, he didn't even get a state funeral. You can help the plebeians, but the patricians are the ones who hold the land stratas.

If you're a plebeian, it doesn't matter what the papers say. It doesn't even matter what anyone says. Because you don't really care. No matter who I vote for President, the price of char kway teow keeps increasing. Bosses are still bastards. The MRT is still crowded. And the Indian food stall near my house is now run by an Ah Tiong who serves me prata, in what could be the ultimate irony of Currygate.

Of course it sucks, the Ah Tiong doesn't toss it, it's mass produced from his homeland. I don't hate Ah Tiongs by the way, I just prefer my prata tossed by Indians.

If you're a plebeian, you don't want Tony Tan to win because he's anything but plebeian. No one ever gave a shit about him until he decided to run for the presidency, and he's now our best choice? In this entire passage, only that last sentence was pure, absolute truth.

I love being a plebeian.

A day at the comic con

I spent a day at the comic con, along with otakus of all shapes and sizes, an endless assortment of pink haired maidens, blue haired swordsmen, and all manner of those in between.

Some pictures taken at the convention. DSLR settings are meant to be abused, so I shot the whole thing at a warm white balance, spot metered all the pictures, and I also did some creative colour correction on the pictures with some actions I found online.

After all, your pictures ain't cool these days if you don't instagram filter/Holga them so much they don't look like the originals anymore. Too lazy to square crop though.

The results:

Guess what this is. Clue: check out the ears.
Aww, Domokun

Comic con, so this picture is also very comic. Lol.

I loved how this picture of Emma Frost turned out

So instagram right this one. Lol.
The weirdest thing I saw at the Comic Con. The girl went on to pose like this for the next half an hour. Why any girl would do so, it's totally beyond me.

Voldemort hugs Draco

You don't have to be a fan of the Harry Potter series to enjoy the fantastic editing job they did on this. And no, it is not an actual scene from the movie, although you'd be excused for thinking so.

Warning: Extremely awkward.

the peon on set.

For a day, I worked as a photography assistant. And it was unrelenting from the get go. The call time was 8am, at a converted old police building in Chinatown. I know because I was early and went exploring the building, which had a sign that said "Straits Settlements Police" or something like that. It was dark and creepy in some corners like those buildings you see from poorly made Singapore ghost flicks.

It turned out that my first task was to load all the equipment onto the van. Well, can't say that I didn't expect it, because the friend who recommended me the job had warned me that I was in for a good time. The equipment was bloody heavy. Take an elephant, put it in a black suitcase, that was exactly what some of those cases weighed like. They were so heavy they wouldn't budge even after I tried pushing them along the ground.

But the day was only just beginning. I was transported to an old industrial building somewhere in River Valley, to the studio where the shoot would take place. The photoshoot was for Harper's Bazaar, and like most magazine shoots, they come with a certain set of colourful characters. The intern wardrobe assistant wearing funky clothing (zebra stripes) who spends her time steaming costumes, rushing around finding accessories and cutting the masking tape pasted on heels so they don't get damaged from use. Who is actually a design student, but she can't find a job doing design anywhere, so she's basically helping to keep the clothes in order on set.

Or the flamboyantly gay stylist, who couldn't have made a bigger impact on arrival. At exactly 9am in the morning, while I was still groggily eating my breakfast of fried beehoon, he walks right in through the glass doors of the studio with a flourish, wearing a loud floral print shirt (don't they all wear those) and going "GOOD MORNING SUNSHINES! I LOVE YOU ALLLLL~" He was a good sport though, although he did unnerve me a little at the start, because he couldn't stop talking about his holiday at some beach resort and about the massages. At some point it becomes too much information.

And of course, the art director was also gay, like he would take the costumes and start dancing around in them. No, dancing is not the word. It should be prancing. Like a freaking pony. There was this coat he was wearing that had long sleeves, which he just draped it over his shoulders and proceeded to twist left and right so the sleeves would fly up and down while hopping around. Yeah, definitely gay. Not to mention that he knew all the lyrics to Lady Gaga's songs that were playing in the background. Yes, the soundtrack was Lady Gaga. Now why was that also so predictable?

And there was a Caucasian model, who was everything that models usually look like. Tall, angmoh with a vacant stare, and skinny. Very skinny. The moment she walked in, the photographer and stylist went together "WAH, SWEE LEH!", probably because she didn't understand hokkien, but the meaning wasn't lost on anyone else. And during lunch she didn't eat, she just wanted a diet coke and a fag to smoke. Zero calories.

She was accompanied by the producer of the shoot, who was also angmoh, and rather distant, in an I'm angmoh and too good to talk to the rest of you way. And she made that even more obvious by not eating lunch with the rest of us, eating her packed lunch of pasta, and ordering Subway sandwiches for tea while we were all eating chips. And her dinner was from IKEA. Thanks, we know you're angmoh, but we eat chicken rice here.

And so the shoot was underway. It took quite a long time to start, like way after lunch, because the model had to be made up for the first shot, and the set wasn't ready. Which was what I was supposed to do. It was crazy tough work, from setting up the backdrop with two C-stands and a huge roll of grey paper, to mounting all the lights and softboxes in all the different positions. And between shots, it was more of the same, like every shot the model had to change a costume, and get her hair and makeup redone, and the whole set had to be reconstructed.

It was funny observing the model at work though, especially her exchanges with the photographer. The photographer would be like "I need more of that," without ever specifying exactly what "that" is, and then going "yah yah that's it, a bit more, yes good good" no matter what the model does. Either she's telepathic, or anything she does is always good.

And sometimes, the photographer would even go up and do the poses, easily the best part of the photoshoot. It was ridiculous how seasoned he looked posing with tiny Dior bags, holding them limp-wristed. If it wasn't in a professional context, or the fact that he's actually the one paying me, I think I would have burst out laughing.

But nothing could stop me laughing to death inside, trying to reconcile the image of a grown man being all ladylike, as he put it, "channeling" his love for a tiny Dior. When he started doing the shoulders thing, like sticking a shoulder out front, tilting his head and doing something with his face so the shot was "sultrier", my eyes just died.

The shoot continued for a few hours, which was pretty uneventful, and eventually, the photographer said the words that we had all been waiting for - "It's a wrap!" But you know what's the worst thing about being the photography assistant on a shoot?

Well, even after the wrap, your work has just begun. Which was basically take down the whole set even as you watch the model, art director and stylist file off saying their goodbyes, while you die a little inside wondering why you took up this job, lugging bloody behemoths of suitcases while the photographer naps on the couch. And then pushing trolleys full of suitcases to the van and loading them in, and then taking them out and putting them back into the store. It makes me just tired thinking about it. And then you need to get home.

And that is the life of a photography assistant. No skill required, just muscles.

Real Madrid vs 109 kids in GuangZhou, China

This is worth watching, if only to see the hundreds of kids running around on the field. I don't know who came up with the idea to play football like this, but it was genius, just for the LOL factor.

It reminds me of those old Heroes games, where you have like Black Dragons going all toasty on a gadzillion peasants while they hack at its scaly hide with like um, a blunt sickle. And yes, the peasants don't win, even though there's a hundred times more of them. If you don't know what I'm talking about, chances are, you don't watch soccer either.

Anyway, in the video, one of the players actually pulls a sliding tackle on a kid @ 4:25. Like seriously, do you want to win that bad? It's just a freaking kid, even if there are a million of them. You don't use Armageddon on peasants when a magic arrow would do, that's just serious overkill.

The Guangzhou kids showed the world what real people power means, because that's what China's got, a ton of people, even if they can only produce one per family unit. You may have parked the bus Mourinho, but Guangzhou here, they parked the Great Wall, although still a little porous, seeing how they let in two goals. Must be all the tourists.

The Big Bang Theory - made in China

The Big Bang Theory, made in China version. For proof, just check out the opening intro. It's a little awkward, but copies tend to be less awesome than originals.

Let's play a little game. Try to guess who's Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard. It's not really that hard.

I want to be this dude!

Fireworks in the night sky

While I was shooting this, I was joking that it was a crapshoot. Because as awesome as long exposures of fireworks are, they are really essentially, press a button, and then wait and hope and see what you get.

Some tips for those who want to attempt shooting long exposures of fireworks

1) Get a tripod, as without one, you won't be able to keep the camera stable enough for the long exposures

2) Set the white balance to daylight, or colour temperature to about 5600K. I learnt that this allows colours to be recorded in the camera as they are, rather than having the camera compensate for what it thinks your eye is comfortable with. Usually, for night shoots, this will mean that colours become more muted or colder, and of course you don't want that for fireworks

3) Shoot at F-stop 11-16, with an exposure of 3-5 seconds. Here, the length of exposure is the key, as you want to shoot with shorter exposures so you get more variation in firework patterns

With these basic tips, it should pretty much be happy shooting!