I love playing online games. It is not because the games are very fun in themselves. It's because of the kind of childish idiots you can find while playing them. I'm sure everyone has heard of this game called Dota. Guys are basically addicted to it, and girls wonder why guys are addicted to it. I'm not really that into it but it amazes me the kind of idiots I can find inside sometimes.
Ever thought that guys who played games were retarded? There you have it. 3 excerpts of actual conversations. The idiot is called unsurprisingly, moron, and A and B are members of my team.
Moron (to all): Damn my team sucks. No teamwork, freaking noob team.
B (to all): Well they couldn't have done anything anyway.
Moron (to all): Shut up you noob, this is a team chat.
A (to all): If you wanted us to shut up then why did you broadcast your comments to all? Noob until don't know how to use ally chat?
B (to all): Yah why you put "my team sucks" like you wanted us to know it rather than "hey team you suck?"
Moron (to all): STFU you noobs.
B (to all): Well, you're 0-4, you're the noob so you should be the one shutting up.
Moron (to all): STFU. Bye!
Moron has left the game.
I'm seriously like what?! Like why are there such stupid people around who can't see how stupid they are? But I figure that's precisely the problem. Stupid people are so stupid they don't realise they are stupid.
Moron (to all): You farking tyco I no mana and you got tyco illusion.
A (to all): How is you having no mana tyco? Like you cannot control how much mana you have like that. You can always choose not to use it. And how is my illusion tyco? I summoned it.
Moron (to all): Not happy settle outside. Later when you go outside you better watch out.
I love that line. It's a classic. Firstly, like who's not happy lor? I know you have no way of carrying out your threat, because I'm behind a computer screen and you have no idea where or who I am. Secondly, only losers would make that threat. Real gangsters don't talk so much, they just do it. Thirdly, once that line comes out, it basically means they have no reply to your argument because they know you're right but they are too proud and stupid to admit it, hence they must suggest a fistfight they can't carry out to salvage whatever is left of their pride. It's freaking hilarious.
Moron (to all): How you know that I'm there. You maphack right.
B (to all): Well, we saw you running there from the minimap.
Moron (to all): Stop cheating la. Noob.
B (to all): Well I'm certainly not cheating. I don't need to cheat to kill noobs like you.
Moron (to all): Your mother is a ***** in Geylang.
Me (to all): How you know? You go Geylang a lot ar.
Moron (to all): You noob, you shut up.
Me (to all): Like who's the noob lor. I'm busy playing while you're waiting for respawn.
Moron (to all): F*** you all you all noobs.
Moron has left the game.
Such people make my day man. The best part is how we don't even go into games looking for such incidents. We're really mild people who just want to have fun. As you can see from all 3 cases, they clearly instigated it and got more than they bargained for.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Fun has a timer, and time is running out
Everyone searches for fun, but how many of us actually find it so that we can say that we live our lives having lots of it. I think fun basically means something we enjoy doing, something that is not mundane, something which is exciting, different and gives us a rush.
However, fun comes with a timer. That timer is the period of time before work, also known as school. Our parents like to tell us how schooling is the best period of your lives, because after that comes work, commitments, and basically the end of living just for yourself. I used to ask them how could school be any fun? I'm in school half the time, and the other half I'm doing homework or projects. I basically had no life.
But, to them it is considered the best part of your life because everything you're doing is for yourself. If you fail your exams, no one else gets affected but you, so to a certain extent you can still choose not to study for them. I think people actually study to live up to their parents' expectations, or to unconsciously try to do as well as them. It would explain why those which have poor relationships with their parents usually do badly in school. Because they don't have the obligation to do well.
For your parents, if their job sucks, they can't just say damn this job sucks, I'm going to quit. They are stuck because of this thing called commitment and a need to put money on the table to feed their families. Have you seen what happens when adults get retrenched? Its like the end of their world. The job isn't fantastic, but they would rather have it than not. And the amount of bullshit they put up with at work, its incredible sometimes. That really sucks. I can't say I'm really looking forward to it, but its coming very soon now.
My parents are already telling me that once I graduate they'll retire and I can take over supporting the family. I think they are just saying that because they know I want to bum around and not look for work after graduating. Also so that they can finally get started on their eagerly awaited retirement plans, like going travelling or doing stuff people do when they retire. Just what do people do when they retire anyway? Overnight mahjong sessions? All-day karaoke sessions? Whack little white balls with a metal club?
But I still cannot shake off the feeling that I haven't had enough fun. It doesn't help that I have an insatiable appetite for enjoying myself, like if I can't find fun I'll create my own. I don't really have much time to enjoy myself, and in addition Singaporeans don't really know how to have fun. I think its because there is really a lack of options for it here. What can you do in Singapore anyway besides going to a mall? And how many things can you do in there? Very soon you start feeling like you've been to every mall worth going to in Singapore, which one should I go to this week? But you end up going out anyway because it beats staying at home and being bored to death.
You know how people look forward to convocation? I really wonder how joyous an occasion that is. Because I will look ahead and wonder what next? What could happen next that could possibly be better than everything else I've had before? I hope when that day comes, I'll have some real answers.
However, fun comes with a timer. That timer is the period of time before work, also known as school. Our parents like to tell us how schooling is the best period of your lives, because after that comes work, commitments, and basically the end of living just for yourself. I used to ask them how could school be any fun? I'm in school half the time, and the other half I'm doing homework or projects. I basically had no life.
But, to them it is considered the best part of your life because everything you're doing is for yourself. If you fail your exams, no one else gets affected but you, so to a certain extent you can still choose not to study for them. I think people actually study to live up to their parents' expectations, or to unconsciously try to do as well as them. It would explain why those which have poor relationships with their parents usually do badly in school. Because they don't have the obligation to do well.
For your parents, if their job sucks, they can't just say damn this job sucks, I'm going to quit. They are stuck because of this thing called commitment and a need to put money on the table to feed their families. Have you seen what happens when adults get retrenched? Its like the end of their world. The job isn't fantastic, but they would rather have it than not. And the amount of bullshit they put up with at work, its incredible sometimes. That really sucks. I can't say I'm really looking forward to it, but its coming very soon now.
My parents are already telling me that once I graduate they'll retire and I can take over supporting the family. I think they are just saying that because they know I want to bum around and not look for work after graduating. Also so that they can finally get started on their eagerly awaited retirement plans, like going travelling or doing stuff people do when they retire. Just what do people do when they retire anyway? Overnight mahjong sessions? All-day karaoke sessions? Whack little white balls with a metal club?
But I still cannot shake off the feeling that I haven't had enough fun. It doesn't help that I have an insatiable appetite for enjoying myself, like if I can't find fun I'll create my own. I don't really have much time to enjoy myself, and in addition Singaporeans don't really know how to have fun. I think its because there is really a lack of options for it here. What can you do in Singapore anyway besides going to a mall? And how many things can you do in there? Very soon you start feeling like you've been to every mall worth going to in Singapore, which one should I go to this week? But you end up going out anyway because it beats staying at home and being bored to death.
You know how people look forward to convocation? I really wonder how joyous an occasion that is. Because I will look ahead and wonder what next? What could happen next that could possibly be better than everything else I've had before? I hope when that day comes, I'll have some real answers.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
What on earth are readings for?
After a year in university, I have killed so many trees I feel compelled to speak out for them because they cannot do it for themselves. I am driven by the need to heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me... and I better stop now before people start rolling their eyes.
Everyone knows that the only people who really want to save the Earth belong to two breeds. Tree hugging idealists and politicians who want the votes of tree hugging idealists. Neither of these exist in Singapore, so I should stop pretending I really give two shits about the environment.
Ok, the real problem I have is how much reading they try to stuff into our systems in university. The sheer volume that you have to take in and digest is disgusting. You can't even try to eat it and hope it diffuses into your brain by osmosis like some people do in desperation, because you'd be dead before you finish chapter 1.
To top things off, professors simply cannot bring themselves to use simple English in their readings. In news writing, we learn to use the simple and familiar word. Professors however, will always use the more obscure word, and try to explain their concept in 50 words when 5 would do.
You know who invented the thesaurus? Yes, professors, the very same people who needed to find more and more difficult words to say the same things so they could marvel at their own intellectual superiority. Like "ha ha bow to my unfettered genius and be overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of my voluminous readings"
They have little sympathy for "lesser beings", or people of less intellectual calibre, hence they must write in a way that is unreadable except to others like them. In other words, people with no life who spend too much time reading and producing more of this shit.
Look at all the shit they produce sitting in libraries worldwide. Who the hell reads them? Thank goodness it's all biodegradable. At least it can be used as fertiliser.
Thousands of undergraduates around the world wonder everyday just what on earth they are reading so much for, because they don't even remember it the moment they finish reading it. Hell, I don't even remember the last line I read. Don't ask me to tell you what I learnt from a reading, because its out of my system the moment it goes in. The only way it stays is if I cram so much of it the system gets jammed and hence some of it is retained, so that I can take a dump in the exam hall and leave feeling relieved. Figuratively, of course. Unless the paper is so hard you can't help doing it literally.
Do you remember what you learnt in school last year? Something is seriously wrong isn't it, when you graduate remembering almost nothing you have learnt. Unfortunately, I think people have kind of forgotten that it shouldn't be the case, how maybe people who graduate don't really know a lot more than when they went in all those years ago.
Everyone knows that the only people who really want to save the Earth belong to two breeds. Tree hugging idealists and politicians who want the votes of tree hugging idealists. Neither of these exist in Singapore, so I should stop pretending I really give two shits about the environment.
Ok, the real problem I have is how much reading they try to stuff into our systems in university. The sheer volume that you have to take in and digest is disgusting. You can't even try to eat it and hope it diffuses into your brain by osmosis like some people do in desperation, because you'd be dead before you finish chapter 1.
To top things off, professors simply cannot bring themselves to use simple English in their readings. In news writing, we learn to use the simple and familiar word. Professors however, will always use the more obscure word, and try to explain their concept in 50 words when 5 would do.
You know who invented the thesaurus? Yes, professors, the very same people who needed to find more and more difficult words to say the same things so they could marvel at their own intellectual superiority. Like "ha ha bow to my unfettered genius and be overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of my voluminous readings"
They have little sympathy for "lesser beings", or people of less intellectual calibre, hence they must write in a way that is unreadable except to others like them. In other words, people with no life who spend too much time reading and producing more of this shit.
Look at all the shit they produce sitting in libraries worldwide. Who the hell reads them? Thank goodness it's all biodegradable. At least it can be used as fertiliser.
Thousands of undergraduates around the world wonder everyday just what on earth they are reading so much for, because they don't even remember it the moment they finish reading it. Hell, I don't even remember the last line I read. Don't ask me to tell you what I learnt from a reading, because its out of my system the moment it goes in. The only way it stays is if I cram so much of it the system gets jammed and hence some of it is retained, so that I can take a dump in the exam hall and leave feeling relieved. Figuratively, of course. Unless the paper is so hard you can't help doing it literally.
Do you remember what you learnt in school last year? Something is seriously wrong isn't it, when you graduate remembering almost nothing you have learnt. Unfortunately, I think people have kind of forgotten that it shouldn't be the case, how maybe people who graduate don't really know a lot more than when they went in all those years ago.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
The day all the bus drivers died. Or something.
Our bus service is so reliable these days, I wonder if I should get a car. I don't live long enough to move around at the speed of a tortoise, or feel so mad that my mind gets filled with weird thoughts concerning asphyxiation and bus drivers.
The day the bus service died. A minute by minute account.
19:05 - Waiting for bus 81, tired and hungry. It was also raining so I was a little cold and miserable. Ever played the Sims? When a Sim is hungry and tired, he sleeps on the pavement while collecting his mail. All I wanted was to go home where it was warm and have a nice dinner.
19:15 - No bus. I got frustrated and started checking the estimated waiting times they have at bus stops. You could sense my desperation. I think they get the waiting times there from a bingo game machine. If not, how could they be so wrong about it, every time?
19:30 - Bus 81 comes but it is so full the front door cannot open. The bus was late and they were still moronic enough to send a single deck bus. Its like when you see someone knocked down by a bus, you throw him a plaster, and you don't even bother to peel off the wrapper for him.
19:40 - Bus comes. Boarded bus. Watched Li Jiawei lose meekly to Guo Yue after leveling at 2-2. Absolute stuff of legend, destined to be replayed as a negative example during training to future Chinese table tennis players.
20:05 - Reach bus changing point. Wait for bus 12.
20:20 - Still waiting for bus 12.
20:30 - Give up waiting for bus 12. Try for a cab.
20:40 - Consider calling for a cab. I was mighty pissed because I was near home, a little too far to walk, but just 5 minutes away by cab. And there was no cab. Wherever that point was, its the local version of the Bermuda triangle. Public transport mysteriously gets lost in it and time stops.
20:45 - Cab comes. Uncle talks too much. He says the same sentence about how my address is a small road, hence it is difficult to remember and he needs to consult a street directory. When I agree with him, he takes it as a cue to rephrase the entire sentence and repeat it again. And when I agree, he rephrases the entire sentence, taking my yes as a cue. And when I agree again, my agreement becomes a cue for him to repeat the entire sentence, rephrased. ARGH!!!
20:50 - Reach home.
Here are some statistics:
Total time taken for journey: 1 hr 45 minutes
Time for Kenyan Olympic gold medalist to run the same distance (around 10km): 27 minutes
A freaking Kenyan can run 4 times faster than the stupid bus service. And I already cheated by taking a cab. I think I better start training for the marathon.
The day the bus service died. A minute by minute account.
19:05 - Waiting for bus 81, tired and hungry. It was also raining so I was a little cold and miserable. Ever played the Sims? When a Sim is hungry and tired, he sleeps on the pavement while collecting his mail. All I wanted was to go home where it was warm and have a nice dinner.
19:15 - No bus. I got frustrated and started checking the estimated waiting times they have at bus stops. You could sense my desperation. I think they get the waiting times there from a bingo game machine. If not, how could they be so wrong about it, every time?
19:30 - Bus 81 comes but it is so full the front door cannot open. The bus was late and they were still moronic enough to send a single deck bus. Its like when you see someone knocked down by a bus, you throw him a plaster, and you don't even bother to peel off the wrapper for him.
19:40 - Bus comes. Boarded bus. Watched Li Jiawei lose meekly to Guo Yue after leveling at 2-2. Absolute stuff of legend, destined to be replayed as a negative example during training to future Chinese table tennis players.
20:05 - Reach bus changing point. Wait for bus 12.
20:20 - Still waiting for bus 12.
20:30 - Give up waiting for bus 12. Try for a cab.
20:40 - Consider calling for a cab. I was mighty pissed because I was near home, a little too far to walk, but just 5 minutes away by cab. And there was no cab. Wherever that point was, its the local version of the Bermuda triangle. Public transport mysteriously gets lost in it and time stops.
20:45 - Cab comes. Uncle talks too much. He says the same sentence about how my address is a small road, hence it is difficult to remember and he needs to consult a street directory. When I agree with him, he takes it as a cue to rephrase the entire sentence and repeat it again. And when I agree, he rephrases the entire sentence, taking my yes as a cue. And when I agree again, my agreement becomes a cue for him to repeat the entire sentence, rephrased. ARGH!!!
20:50 - Reach home.
Here are some statistics:
Total time taken for journey: 1 hr 45 minutes
Time for Kenyan Olympic gold medalist to run the same distance (around 10km): 27 minutes
A freaking Kenyan can run 4 times faster than the stupid bus service. And I already cheated by taking a cab. I think I better start training for the marathon.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Jade Seah says F*** on Ch 5
Check out what Jade Seah said during this broadcast of "Today in Beijing" at around 51 seconds during a technical error. A Ch 5 classic.
But she looks good on camera anyway so whatever, even if she has a potty mouth that doesn't go with that pretty face.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Singapore is in an Olympics final!
Let me say it again. Singapore is in an Olympics final! However, when I searched the news online, I saw this article on BBC. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/olympics/table_tennis/7562910.stm
What's wrong with it? Well, nothing except for this line they just had to include. "Feng Tianwei, who, like the rest of the Singapore team, is an import from China..."
Okay, so our whole team is imported from China. Like much of our food, electronics, pirated goods and Geylang chicken. But do they realise that is a moot point for table tennis? Which top team in table tennis doesn't have imports from China? I mean the Dominican Republic had two players called Qian Lian and Wu Xue, and the US had Wang Chen and Gao Jun. Tell me they are not from China. The names are a dead giveaway maybe?
It is an issue with some Singaporeans too, I've been hearing this a lot in the past few days. "The final is basically a Chinese team vs. another Chinese team, played in China. It's more like a domestic event."
However, I'm not going to let a little issue about country of birth affect the overwhelming patriotism that has been inculcated in me since I was a wee toddler. And certainly not for something this rare. This is the moment I was taught to sing the national anthem and wave a Singaporean flag vigorously for. I'm going to fish one from my NDP '08 goodie bag.
When the athletes are on the podium, the national flag is raised. If you're Singaporean, you'd better watch the victory ceremony. It's your only chance to watch the Singapore flag raised in an Olympics final. You can add the obligatory tears and rush of pride. GOOOO SINGAPORE!
I've even hung a Singaporean flag on the gate of my house to showcase my patriotic fervour. Although I still lose to the MP across the street who has it on a flagpole. Permanently.
However, I felt that the behaviour of Li Jiawei was disappointing. She actually conceded the final to China, saying that they played the semi final like a final, and hence they have nothing left to take the game to the Chinese. Maybe this is a psychological tactic, but knowing how she has a reputation for choking, I think she really feels the team won't win.
She didn't exactly have the most nerve wracking experience of the 3 players who played. That was Feng Tianwei, who had to play the opening match, AND the decider. If Feng isn't conceding, why is the team captain and flag bearer doing so? We may not have the top seeds, but finals are not always won by the top seeds. Even Zhang herself said they were taking nothing for granted because the skill levels were very close.
If you want to concede, don't play for Singapore. Here, we throw everything at the Chinese team till we can honestly say we lost to the better team. Nothing is over till the Merlion pukes and Li Jiawei chokes.
What's wrong with it? Well, nothing except for this line they just had to include. "Feng Tianwei, who, like the rest of the Singapore team, is an import from China..."
Okay, so our whole team is imported from China. Like much of our food, electronics, pirated goods and Geylang chicken. But do they realise that is a moot point for table tennis? Which top team in table tennis doesn't have imports from China? I mean the Dominican Republic had two players called Qian Lian and Wu Xue, and the US had Wang Chen and Gao Jun. Tell me they are not from China. The names are a dead giveaway maybe?
It is an issue with some Singaporeans too, I've been hearing this a lot in the past few days. "The final is basically a Chinese team vs. another Chinese team, played in China. It's more like a domestic event."
However, I'm not going to let a little issue about country of birth affect the overwhelming patriotism that has been inculcated in me since I was a wee toddler. And certainly not for something this rare. This is the moment I was taught to sing the national anthem and wave a Singaporean flag vigorously for. I'm going to fish one from my NDP '08 goodie bag.
When the athletes are on the podium, the national flag is raised. If you're Singaporean, you'd better watch the victory ceremony. It's your only chance to watch the Singapore flag raised in an Olympics final. You can add the obligatory tears and rush of pride. GOOOO SINGAPORE!
I've even hung a Singaporean flag on the gate of my house to showcase my patriotic fervour. Although I still lose to the MP across the street who has it on a flagpole. Permanently.
However, I felt that the behaviour of Li Jiawei was disappointing. She actually conceded the final to China, saying that they played the semi final like a final, and hence they have nothing left to take the game to the Chinese. Maybe this is a psychological tactic, but knowing how she has a reputation for choking, I think she really feels the team won't win.
She didn't exactly have the most nerve wracking experience of the 3 players who played. That was Feng Tianwei, who had to play the opening match, AND the decider. If Feng isn't conceding, why is the team captain and flag bearer doing so? We may not have the top seeds, but finals are not always won by the top seeds. Even Zhang herself said they were taking nothing for granted because the skill levels were very close.
If you want to concede, don't play for Singapore. Here, we throw everything at the Chinese team till we can honestly say we lost to the better team. Nothing is over till the Merlion pukes and Li Jiawei chokes.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Immortality is yours! Take it.
Yet another article on the Olympics. Its hard not to blog about it. It pervades your home TV, headlines your newspapers, your friends talk about it, you watch it on the bus on the way home, and on top of all that, you have Phelps.
So much has been written about this guy that the thesaurus has already run out of superlatives, and personally, I think people are getting tired of reading about him. At least I am. I just want to watch how the entire Olympics is being overshadowed by his personal quest. So much that the thousands of others taking part become sideshows, dwarfed by the enormosity of the Phelps, a leviathan among sportsmen, who is also fortunate to be talented in the right sport.
He makes it seem so easy, he almost cheapens the value of the Olympic gold. Then you realise that Singapore is still looking for its first gold, and the value goes right back up. Despite all our investment, we're happy that Tao Li finished fifth in one final. I mean, not that it isn't a major achievement, but the fact that we consider that a major achievement says a lot about our sporting excellence. Basically, we suck at sports.
But really, you know what sucks? It sucks to be in the same events as Phelps. No one gives a shit about you, you have no chance in hell of winning, and when he wins, you have to declare that its an honour to swim with him. Yeah, that's what you trained four years for. All that pain and sacrifice, for the honour.
Somehow I don't think that when they trained, the thought in their heads was, I want to swim faster! So that I can be second to Michael Phelps and swim next to him in the pool! The honour! But we need people like that. There are after all, 8 lanes in an Olympic swimming pool and we need 7 others who are after that honour to make Phelps an even more awesome spectacle.
You can't really appreciate how awesome Phelps is until he leaves 7 other world class swimmers floundering a whole body length behind him. Or more. Especially when you see how the cameraman struggles to put the 8 swimmers in the same frame for our reference. Or when they put that green line behind Phelps to show how far ahead he is.
Phelps is lucky that his is a sport that allows the individual to really showcase individual brilliance. If you are good in the butterfly, you can win the 100m, the 200m, and probably the team relay too. So that's 3 golds already. Unfortunately, he's good at everything, so for all those swimmers of his generation, it's basically GG thank you very much try again next time. And I'll still beat you anyway.
In fact, he's so good he's rewriting records that only he can set. It helps that he's actually a freak of nature, with numerous trivia websites online detailing how he's actually descended from fish rather than apes. That torso! The long arms! The flipper legs! The big ears! The gills! Okay maybe not the last two but you get my point.
Being a perfect blend of nature and nurture, it is almost his destiny to be placed upon a pedestal for others to strive to. Now, Phelps is 3 golds away from immortality in the Olympic annals. And in 3 days, he will be the greatest Olympian swim king ever.
So much has been written about this guy that the thesaurus has already run out of superlatives, and personally, I think people are getting tired of reading about him. At least I am. I just want to watch how the entire Olympics is being overshadowed by his personal quest. So much that the thousands of others taking part become sideshows, dwarfed by the enormosity of the Phelps, a leviathan among sportsmen, who is also fortunate to be talented in the right sport.
He makes it seem so easy, he almost cheapens the value of the Olympic gold. Then you realise that Singapore is still looking for its first gold, and the value goes right back up. Despite all our investment, we're happy that Tao Li finished fifth in one final. I mean, not that it isn't a major achievement, but the fact that we consider that a major achievement says a lot about our sporting excellence. Basically, we suck at sports.
But really, you know what sucks? It sucks to be in the same events as Phelps. No one gives a shit about you, you have no chance in hell of winning, and when he wins, you have to declare that its an honour to swim with him. Yeah, that's what you trained four years for. All that pain and sacrifice, for the honour.
Somehow I don't think that when they trained, the thought in their heads was, I want to swim faster! So that I can be second to Michael Phelps and swim next to him in the pool! The honour! But we need people like that. There are after all, 8 lanes in an Olympic swimming pool and we need 7 others who are after that honour to make Phelps an even more awesome spectacle.
You can't really appreciate how awesome Phelps is until he leaves 7 other world class swimmers floundering a whole body length behind him. Or more. Especially when you see how the cameraman struggles to put the 8 swimmers in the same frame for our reference. Or when they put that green line behind Phelps to show how far ahead he is.
Phelps is lucky that his is a sport that allows the individual to really showcase individual brilliance. If you are good in the butterfly, you can win the 100m, the 200m, and probably the team relay too. So that's 3 golds already. Unfortunately, he's good at everything, so for all those swimmers of his generation, it's basically GG thank you very much try again next time. And I'll still beat you anyway.
In fact, he's so good he's rewriting records that only he can set. It helps that he's actually a freak of nature, with numerous trivia websites online detailing how he's actually descended from fish rather than apes. That torso! The long arms! The flipper legs! The big ears! The gills! Okay maybe not the last two but you get my point.
Being a perfect blend of nature and nurture, it is almost his destiny to be placed upon a pedestal for others to strive to. Now, Phelps is 3 golds away from immortality in the Olympic annals. And in 3 days, he will be the greatest Olympian swim king ever.
Things for very bored people to do.
Stuck somewhere? Have absolutely nothing to do? Forced to read blogs and use MSN to kill time? Here are some time killers, which can be done in any order and any number of times.
1) Stare at a light source till you see purple and green stuff when you close your eyes. Look around your surroundings in wonder at how different they look now you have purple and green blobs on them. Try different shaped light sources or objects to get different shaped blobs.
2) Don't think of a pink elephant. Oh, you just did. Now, change the animal and do it again. If you really need to kill more time, don't think of 10 pink elephants. Now try to count if you did.
3) Give points for everything people say to you. Even if its totally irrelevant. Even if its not funny. Especially if its not funny. It doesn't even have to be upon 10. Give some random 4 digit number and watch them buy 4D.
4) Scratch yourself. Scratch a friend. Get scratched by a friend. Scratch the friend who scratched you.
5) Stare at someone until they look at you. Then look away. When the person looks away, go back to staring. Rinse and repeat.
6) Repeat everything people say to you back to them. To kill more boredom, imitate their hand gestures and facial expressions.
7) Unleash your inner psychic. Think of something you want somebody to do, and try until it succeeds. Alternatively, try to lift something off the table or bend something with your mind. Remember, there is no spoon.
8) Imagine you're Harry Potter or Hermione Granger. Now, pick up a pen, use it as a wand and try casting some spells. Stupefy! Expelliarmus! Expecto Patronum!
9) Imitate your favourite Heroes character. And stay in character throughout for an extended period of time. Especially fun when your character is Peter Petrelli. You can inherit all sorts of useless abilities.
10) Try to draw a circle with one hand and a square with another hand. Once you manage it, you can switch hands. If that is done, you can change shapes till you can draw Patrick Star with one hand and Spongebob with the other. If you ever manage that, teach me.
1) Stare at a light source till you see purple and green stuff when you close your eyes. Look around your surroundings in wonder at how different they look now you have purple and green blobs on them. Try different shaped light sources or objects to get different shaped blobs.
2) Don't think of a pink elephant. Oh, you just did. Now, change the animal and do it again. If you really need to kill more time, don't think of 10 pink elephants. Now try to count if you did.
3) Give points for everything people say to you. Even if its totally irrelevant. Even if its not funny. Especially if its not funny. It doesn't even have to be upon 10. Give some random 4 digit number and watch them buy 4D.
4) Scratch yourself. Scratch a friend. Get scratched by a friend. Scratch the friend who scratched you.
5) Stare at someone until they look at you. Then look away. When the person looks away, go back to staring. Rinse and repeat.
6) Repeat everything people say to you back to them. To kill more boredom, imitate their hand gestures and facial expressions.
7) Unleash your inner psychic. Think of something you want somebody to do, and try until it succeeds. Alternatively, try to lift something off the table or bend something with your mind. Remember, there is no spoon.
8) Imagine you're Harry Potter or Hermione Granger. Now, pick up a pen, use it as a wand and try casting some spells. Stupefy! Expelliarmus! Expecto Patronum!
9) Imitate your favourite Heroes character. And stay in character throughout for an extended period of time. Especially fun when your character is Peter Petrelli. You can inherit all sorts of useless abilities.
10) Try to draw a circle with one hand and a square with another hand. Once you manage it, you can switch hands. If that is done, you can change shapes till you can draw Patrick Star with one hand and Spongebob with the other. If you ever manage that, teach me.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Buck teeth? Beijing don't want you.
If you have been following the Olympics, the pains which China has taken to showcase their country will not be lost on you. Until now, I thought they did a fantastic job. The facilities are awesome, the athletes are happy with their accomodation, and on the whole the Olympics has been a spellbinding spectacle.
Then I read that the Beijing Olympics organizing committee had apparently not been too honest in the opening ceremony.
The controversy: A 9 year old girl, Lin Miaoke, lip-synched to 7 year old Yang Peiyi's performance because Yang had a perfect voice, but crooked buck teeth and was hence deemed unsuitable for presentation by one of the Politburo. Hence the cuter Lin was used.
"We should all understand it like this: it is a question of the national interest. It is a question of the image of our national music, our national culture. ", says Chen Qigang, the musical director of the Beijing Olympics.
Hello? Since when was deceit part of the culture? I seriously do not think people would have made an issue about how "uncute" Yang was, because she is 7. Almost all 7 year olds are "uncute" because they are losing milk teeth. If you want to go down that "unsuitable for presentation" argument, why don't you say Yao Ming shouldn't be the flag bearer because he looks like Frankenstein from some angles?
I think people feel more indignant that somebody was actually callous and insensitive enough to inflict such a superficial judgement on a child, despite her talent. If they really wanted someone more presentable, couldn't they have found a better compromise from 1.3 billion people? I find that incredulous. If Yang had been judged good enough to perform the rehearsals, obviously her looks weren't that much of an issue. Can you imagine what it's like to know that you were not allowed to perform at the Olympics because your country thinks you're ugly. I hope she migrates.
In fact, I hope all their "uncute" talents migrate. Like maybe their basketball stars, gymnasts, swimmers and table tennis players. Don't worry, here in Singapore we don't mind "uncute" talents. You get a million dollars and national adulation if you win a gold for us. Whoever that Politburo guy was, you disgust me. By your own logic, you should excuse yourself from the Olympics just in case the camera catches your "uncute" face and presents it to the world.
Now, despite the efforts of millions, all it takes is one idiot to cast a huge shadow on the entire Olympics. If its really alright, why can't I shake away the feeling that something unethical was done? If they really thought it was perfectly okay, why didn't they announce from the outset that Yang would be singing and Lin performing? Obviously they knew it was not. But now they are attempting to reason weakly that it's in China's greater interest, to cover what is obviously a very embarrassing farce for China's public image.
I'm sure lying to the world is in China's greater interest. Now how do I know you weren't lying about Tibet? And even more ridiculously, they also inserted computerized fireworks. I don't remember the last time any Olympic host did that. Oh wait, that's because they actually use real fireworks. If the hosts wanted to go to that extent, why not computerize the entire fireworks display then?
Perhaps for once, rather than killing people with their fireworks factories, they should actually consider using the fireworks produced before they explode and kill more workers. Did they really think that they could hide something this ridiculous forever? They might have presented the perfect image on a superficial level, but on so many other levels, they have given a pretty poor account of themselves.
To the Olympics committee: If you really want to do something so unethical, hide it better so the world is a better place unaffected by the taint of your actions.
Then I read that the Beijing Olympics organizing committee had apparently not been too honest in the opening ceremony.
The controversy: A 9 year old girl, Lin Miaoke, lip-synched to 7 year old Yang Peiyi's performance because Yang had a perfect voice, but crooked buck teeth and was hence deemed unsuitable for presentation by one of the Politburo. Hence the cuter Lin was used.
"We should all understand it like this: it is a question of the national interest. It is a question of the image of our national music, our national culture. ", says Chen Qigang, the musical director of the Beijing Olympics.
Hello? Since when was deceit part of the culture? I seriously do not think people would have made an issue about how "uncute" Yang was, because she is 7. Almost all 7 year olds are "uncute" because they are losing milk teeth. If you want to go down that "unsuitable for presentation" argument, why don't you say Yao Ming shouldn't be the flag bearer because he looks like Frankenstein from some angles?
I think people feel more indignant that somebody was actually callous and insensitive enough to inflict such a superficial judgement on a child, despite her talent. If they really wanted someone more presentable, couldn't they have found a better compromise from 1.3 billion people? I find that incredulous. If Yang had been judged good enough to perform the rehearsals, obviously her looks weren't that much of an issue. Can you imagine what it's like to know that you were not allowed to perform at the Olympics because your country thinks you're ugly. I hope she migrates.
In fact, I hope all their "uncute" talents migrate. Like maybe their basketball stars, gymnasts, swimmers and table tennis players. Don't worry, here in Singapore we don't mind "uncute" talents. You get a million dollars and national adulation if you win a gold for us. Whoever that Politburo guy was, you disgust me. By your own logic, you should excuse yourself from the Olympics just in case the camera catches your "uncute" face and presents it to the world.
Now, despite the efforts of millions, all it takes is one idiot to cast a huge shadow on the entire Olympics. If its really alright, why can't I shake away the feeling that something unethical was done? If they really thought it was perfectly okay, why didn't they announce from the outset that Yang would be singing and Lin performing? Obviously they knew it was not. But now they are attempting to reason weakly that it's in China's greater interest, to cover what is obviously a very embarrassing farce for China's public image.
I'm sure lying to the world is in China's greater interest. Now how do I know you weren't lying about Tibet? And even more ridiculously, they also inserted computerized fireworks. I don't remember the last time any Olympic host did that. Oh wait, that's because they actually use real fireworks. If the hosts wanted to go to that extent, why not computerize the entire fireworks display then?
Perhaps for once, rather than killing people with their fireworks factories, they should actually consider using the fireworks produced before they explode and kill more workers. Did they really think that they could hide something this ridiculous forever? They might have presented the perfect image on a superficial level, but on so many other levels, they have given a pretty poor account of themselves.
To the Olympics committee: If you really want to do something so unethical, hide it better so the world is a better place unaffected by the taint of your actions.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Need for sleep.
I have slept 12 hours in 3 days. I feel very irritable. It probably has something to do with my unhealthy habit of sleeping at 2 and waking at 6. And telling myself to sleep more the next day only to repeat it again.
These are trying times for students returning from long breaks. School has reopened, and you feel like shit because you want to nap but a wooden bench is hardly conducive. You feel like skipping every lesson because you just want sleep. And it seems that as the day progresses, the desire for sleep increases, but somehow things will crop up so that you can't.
However, the greatest irony is, when you finally get the chance to sleep, you're at home, where there's a TV, and your laptop is on. So when the bed is just 2 feet away, you don't sleep. I think I slept more in hall. Probably because it was much less comfortable, and very darned boring. Thank you NTU for making hall life so miserable. Perhaps you should make it worse so students will sleep more, pay more attention in class, and then spoil market during the exams. Hint hint. Perhaps they could restart the triple sha-"IT MUST NOT BE NAMED" scheme.
But enough about that. What's puzzled me this week is some very strange behaviour. A few weeks ago, my wallet was stolen while I was at work. I mourned that loss, but eventually replaced almost all my cards. All except the NTU ones because I was lazy and thought that I would probably get around to it when I returned to school.
Weirdly though, yesterday I received an email from the school asking me to collect my NTU ezlink card from the loan counter at SCI. So that means somewhere, somebody found my wallet, kept my money, my cashcard and all my other random assorted cards, but sent back my ezlink card.
I have no idea whether I should be amused by it. At first I thought maybe the person got scared off by my face staring at him in my wallet as it reminded him of his guilty conscience. Then I thought that's unlikely, so maybe it was because I had a face that people cannot stand. Its horrible thinking that, because you start imagining stupid things like "do I look like Ronaldinho?"
However, I realised that that's not possible because I always get approached by randoms asking me for directions. They wouldn't approach a donkey, so I must look normal. Yes I'm flattering myself. This is my blog and that comes with certain advantages.
I also realised that my matric card had the same photo and he didn't send it back. Which makes it even stranger because why send back the ezlink card, which had money inside, but not the matric card? Why would anybody want to pose as an NTU student? You don't need a matric card with a face that doesn't look like yours for that. And it really begs the question. Why really, would anyone want to pose as an NTU student. It doesn't come with any benefits.
Okay, maybe one. You get to play with the STARS planner. Hoo yeah.
Finally, there is also about 5 dollars missing from the ezlink card. So this person used my card for awhile, then sent it back. Its absolutely mystifying. Its almost as though the person is trying to be funny, in a very unfunny way. If my ezlink card could tell stories, it would probably be a very interesting one. Not to mention that I'd finally have something, or rather someone, to use all that pent up frustration from having not enough sleep on. Bloody twit.
These are trying times for students returning from long breaks. School has reopened, and you feel like shit because you want to nap but a wooden bench is hardly conducive. You feel like skipping every lesson because you just want sleep. And it seems that as the day progresses, the desire for sleep increases, but somehow things will crop up so that you can't.
However, the greatest irony is, when you finally get the chance to sleep, you're at home, where there's a TV, and your laptop is on. So when the bed is just 2 feet away, you don't sleep. I think I slept more in hall. Probably because it was much less comfortable, and very darned boring. Thank you NTU for making hall life so miserable. Perhaps you should make it worse so students will sleep more, pay more attention in class, and then spoil market during the exams. Hint hint. Perhaps they could restart the triple sha-"IT MUST NOT BE NAMED" scheme.
But enough about that. What's puzzled me this week is some very strange behaviour. A few weeks ago, my wallet was stolen while I was at work. I mourned that loss, but eventually replaced almost all my cards. All except the NTU ones because I was lazy and thought that I would probably get around to it when I returned to school.
Weirdly though, yesterday I received an email from the school asking me to collect my NTU ezlink card from the loan counter at SCI. So that means somewhere, somebody found my wallet, kept my money, my cashcard and all my other random assorted cards, but sent back my ezlink card.
I have no idea whether I should be amused by it. At first I thought maybe the person got scared off by my face staring at him in my wallet as it reminded him of his guilty conscience. Then I thought that's unlikely, so maybe it was because I had a face that people cannot stand. Its horrible thinking that, because you start imagining stupid things like "do I look like Ronaldinho?"
However, I realised that that's not possible because I always get approached by randoms asking me for directions. They wouldn't approach a donkey, so I must look normal. Yes I'm flattering myself. This is my blog and that comes with certain advantages.
I also realised that my matric card had the same photo and he didn't send it back. Which makes it even stranger because why send back the ezlink card, which had money inside, but not the matric card? Why would anybody want to pose as an NTU student? You don't need a matric card with a face that doesn't look like yours for that. And it really begs the question. Why really, would anyone want to pose as an NTU student. It doesn't come with any benefits.
Okay, maybe one. You get to play with the STARS planner. Hoo yeah.
Finally, there is also about 5 dollars missing from the ezlink card. So this person used my card for awhile, then sent it back. Its absolutely mystifying. Its almost as though the person is trying to be funny, in a very unfunny way. If my ezlink card could tell stories, it would probably be a very interesting one. Not to mention that I'd finally have something, or rather someone, to use all that pent up frustration from having not enough sleep on. Bloody twit.
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