Now, who's paying for that potato salad?

A brilliant Obama spoof off CollegeHumor.

The TV Theme Medley

This guy is just absolutely talented, and this video is really a delight to watch. See if you can identify all the TV themes in the video.

0:01 Two and a Half Men
0:22 The Simpsons
0:36 O.C
1:00 Naruto
1:11 Family Guy
1:41 Married with Children
1:57 Cheers
2:16 That 70's Show
2:41 Big Love
2:58 Freaks and Geeks
3:18 Malcolm in the Middle
3:35 X-Files
3:55 Firefly
4:09 The Office
4:24 The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
4:44 Scrubs
4:54 True Blood
5:27 Charles in Charge
5:38 The Big Bang Theory
5:55 How I Met Your Mother
6:05 Mission Impossible
6:14 Friends

My laptop is starting to die on me

The title of this post kind of sums it up, like any good title should. I am starting to castigate my laptop a little too often, like every other hour when it crashes spectacularly on me.

"You useless piece of machinery! I'm going to buy an Apple I tell you, nevermind that I am a iGoondu."

The latter is of course, utterly false. I am not an iGoondu, I'm just not an iWhiz. And when I'm finally done with all the bad iJokes, I have to crack the really bad one about the iPad, which I swear is the most uninspired name for a computer device ever. If you didn't know better, you would think that Apple had entered the feminine hygiene market. Hey, you never know, they just might. After all, that is one area that will never lack demand.

I am no fan of Apple products, but I do think that the norm in CS is to be an iConsumer. If you don't own a Mac, an iPhone or an iPad, you're somehow antisocial, the archetypal outcast. Yours truly doesn't own any of those, with the only exception being an iPod that I bought secondhand off someone, and even then I jailbroke the damn thing. I guess I chose the blue pill, so I'm some kind of Neo in an Apple-crazed world. Steve Jobs is watching you, yes? He wants you to hurry up and buy the iPhone 4 so he can start releasing the iPhone 4GS.

Sorry, that was my Orwellian complex going into overdrive.

My laptop has somehow lasted three whole years without dying, but now, it is surely tottering on its last legs. And I would really hate to send it to the place where all laptops go when its their time, but the problem is, it is about its time. My warranty is up, which I totally squeezed every last drop out of, changing the casing and motherboard on the very last month. I bet ASUS hates me because I'm such a cheapo.

Now, I am starting to find that the laptop is too slow to handle all these newfangled applications that are popping up on the market. I'm not even talking about games, my laptop stopped being able to handle new games about two years ago.

But now even the simple task of opening gmail chat, facebook chat and youtube at the same time makes my browser hang. And I get random stupid bugs like my volume control refusing to open and my media player taking forever to get started, only to pop open an hour later when I'm about to shutoff the thing for the day.

It is really such a waste because I've gotten so used to all its eccentricities. When you use a piece of equipment like a laptop long enough you will know what I mean. Your laptop gets like random errors and bugs that nobody else gets, that you pray do not surface when someone else in school goes "Can I use your laptop?"

You even come up with all these weird ways of troubleshooting those problems, like my favourite one for the volume control, plugging the earphones in and out. Somehow it resets the volume control and it works fine again. The logic behind that? I have no idea, you have to ask some egghead at Microsoft.

It has reached the stage where supplication to a higher being for the darned thing to work no longer suffices, especially when the thing starts to crash so often it puts the very existence of the higher being into question. I'm not even religious, but I will do intercession because my parents taught me so. Case in point - "Pusah, today Weili has an exam, bless him with an easy paper and good grades okay? Come, take these 3 joss sticks and pray to the pusah here, okay now turn around and pray to the other one..."

"Pusah, my laptop has trouble trying to start up today. I absolutely need to finish this report, so please help it to stay stable long enough so I can finish the thing because my tutor will absolutely not believe that my laptop crashed running two instances of Microsoft Word. It was not thought possible until my laptop came along."

One more year, come on. Once I grad I will buy a new one with my first paycheck.

Ferguson confirms Rooney wants out

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ESPNsoccernet staff

Sir Alex Ferguson has confirmed the "terribly disappointing" news that Wayne Rooney has told Manchester United that he will not sign a new contract and wishes to leave the club.

Wayne Rooney and Ferguson haven't had a conversation for a month. (GettyImages)

Rooney, who will miss Wednesday's Champions League game against Bursaspor due to his much-discussed ankle injury, has personally informed Ferguson that he does not wish to continue his career at Old Trafford.

Rest of article is here at Soccernet.

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Honestly, if this news had broken a year ago was Rooney was in untouchable form, I might have cheered, because I'm a Gunners fan and I sure as hell don't like Man United. However, I have to admit that right now Rooney's departure doesn't mean diddly-squat because he basically hasn't played like the Rooney of old since March when he picked up that ankle injury.

When someone like Berbatov the languid ballerina can become the first choice striker at Old Trafford, it really says something about the squad's strength in depth. Don't get me started on the third choice striker, the biggest football club scammer in England, also known as Michael Owen.

Now, he's just a deadweight, albeit one that has a taste for publicity loving whores. He even bonked one when his wife was pregnant, and that's probably a conservative estimate, which kind of takes away any possible respect I could have for him as a man.

Right now, the news just makes me feel a craving for one of United's famous prawn sandwiches. You know, if the Glazers ever bankrupt the club by defaulting on their GBP40 million a year interest payments, please franchise the prawn sandwich stall, so I can buy a sandwich and throw it at the fans.

What, did you think I was going to eat them? Nah, not when the players themselves seem more interested in using them for food fights.

It ain't my fault, its yours.

I've been working freelance while studying and I have to admit that while having the recompense for the necessary effort and trouble is great, it is often at the expense of my sanity, with certain incidents illustrating the foibles associated with human incompetence and a need to rid oneself of blame so as to keep one's job despite that ineptness.

Being a contract writer, the onus is often on me to schedule appointments for interviews and photoshoots, and of course, it brooks no delay as any holdup in the whole process means that the stress increases for the people in the back end, who have to clear the final article. And when the stress gets too great they become very unpleasant people to deal with. Since they have a tendency to call very late, it is really in everyone's best interests to keep relations cordial.

Unfortunately, most companies have this person in the payroll that is a testament to why you should be more discerning during job recruitment exercises. They are so bad at executing orders that if you were to ask them to make coffee for you, they would use coffeemix but forget to add water, and deliver the subsequent product to the wrong person.

They would then proceed to blame someone else for it, saying that it was not their fault that the office pantry had run out of hot water, and that it was really the cleaner who had moved the cup during her cleaning rounds.

Of course, the only reason such people are still in their jobs is, they have certain skills that make their extermination from the workforce very difficult. Like cockroaches, they have simple structures and limited ability, but hell, no matter how hard you swat them they never seem to die. Sometimes, it helps that they disgust you so much you don't even want to swat or go near them.

Having said so much, I shall now relate one incident. I was commissioned an article, and given two weeks to do it up. Normally, two weeks would be a luxury to someone like me, because I'm used to working on two hour deadlines.

Unfortunately, as this is an ad, I have to make sure that the stuff I'm writing is approved by the client. Even more unfortunately, since it is an ad, I have to let them choose an intervieweee for me, and the interview has to be at a time of their own choosing.

Do you see a problem? Probably not, so I'll highlight it for you. The problem is, the whole process is kickstarted by the PR department of the advertiser, and if the PR is a cockroach, the son of a cockroach, or just a cock, nothing can get done! And it looks really bad on me, because it appears that I'm holding up the process by not getting the PR to move his or her fat ass off the supply chain.

So, this PR that I was dealing with, she took the liberty of being uncontactable for days. And despite my best attempts to reach her by phone, sms or email, she remained so. As I watched my two week deadline tick away, I felt it necessary to inform my superiors that she was being a dipshit.

This dipshit then had the cheek to call me back a day later, asking why I had got the company to pressure her for not doing her job. Well played, but I'm not interested in your petulant Hobbesian displays. You are free to do anything you wish, except not answer my calls because you are paid to do that, dipshit, and society is an amalgamation of individuals cooperating to further their own self interests. You do your job so I can do mine, and we both get paid without getting screwed.

But of course, with me being the civil professional, I simply requested with some urgency that she get the ball rolling. She did do so, but she arranged a photoshoot for me only after the final deadline, and the interview slightly before that, leaving me just one day to write everything out. All I could tell her was, she was cutting everything a bit late, but she insisted that it was the best she could do. Obviously, my bosses wouldn't have any of that, so they went ahead and sent the unapproved drafts for print.

And on the next morning, the shit obviously hit the fan. The draft was full of mistakes, and they had used the wrong picture. The PR then had the cheek to call me asking why I hadn't waited for her amended and approved copy. Well, have you ever seen a newspaper wait for an advertiser?

In the first place, she was uncontactable and slow. And she started saying that this was not the way to do things, that I was irresponsible because now her job was in jeopardy and someone had to be accountable for the mistake (aka not her because she created this mess and she's useless but you cannot let her bosses know). She even had the audacity to claim that she was always contactable, when she had just missed my call on the night of the deadline itself to check errors in the copy since she was taking forever to get back.

In my opinion, if you work in the public relations department, and you cannot keep yourself contactable, what kind of relations with the public are you looking to build? The frosty kind?

The PR, also known as dipshit, then took her argument up with my bosses directly, which resulted in them and her calling me and ruining my whole Saturday morning from 7am to 12 noon to clarify the whole mess, and since it was the first day of my recess, it left me more than a little pissed.

I could not even sleep in on the first day of recess, and on top of that, I had to deal with the Machivellian power plays between both sides, and the spinning of intricate yarns of deceit as she sought to pin blame on anyone except herself. She even tried pinning the blame on me, except that I had everything in black and white that showed that it was her who had held up the whole process. FML.

The good thing about school is, if a person is lazy and stupid, they get a fail grade. The bad thing is, these people will still eventually come out into the workplace, where there is no fail grade. These people will also have evolved survival mechanisms, to make their otherwise routine extermination a very challenging process indeed.

I haven't heard from the PR since Saturday, so I'm going to assume that all is well. But definitely not taking up any more assignments for now thanks.

On the warpath about footpaths

Singapore seems to love the construction sector.

Look at your average HDB estate. Some part of it is perpetually in a state of construction, whether it is lift upgrading for the 4th time in 5 years, or building a new senior citizen's corner that is really used by teenage couples to make out, or building a new footpath, or a shelter for that footpath, or a new shelter replacing a shelter that was built just last year, or the landscaping of a park that no one really notices.

However, one ironic situation surfaces in almost every estate I've been to. Money is spent to build super nice footpaths, only to have people cut across the grass and create new paths because the footpaths simply take the longer way to get to a place. And then you know what? They build a shelter over that footpath.

I'm really fed up of all that construction. I don't see the need for it, and today when I was walking to my grandparents' place I had to walk on the road because a perfectly nice footpath that was just repaved a year ago had been torn up again to build an overhead shelter. Mind you, the shelter was really unnecessary because another shelter was already built, just that it was at the other side of the estate, about five blocks away. If this goes on, soon the footpaths will all become sheltered travellators, and we will have manicured lawns full of carpet grass and fountains bursting with Newater.

And, what's with all these estates being called "Tampines Green", or "East View Garden", or some other form of address that nobody uses or remembers? I live in East View Garden. Letters are routinely addressed to me with that tagged on, only that apart from it being in the east, I don't see a view and there definitely isn't a garden or I'd know about it. The nearest thing I have to a garden, a large open field just next to my house, just got torn up to build a new HDB estate, so I can have 1,000 new neighbours looking down upon my house. Yay.

If I were to tell the average taxi driver to take me to "Tampines Green", I bet you he won't know where the hell it is, because nobody uses those oblique references. In Singapore, it doesn't matter how you demarcate estates, because once the elections come round, the same part of Tampines that was in Bedok will become part of Pasir Ris. Just get the damn road name right.

It sometimes makes me feel like someone up there is playing SimCity. The only problem is, when stuff is actually built, it creates a lot of inconvenience for real people, not computer sprites who don't ever say anything even if you destroy their whole city by pulling out the plug on your computer.

My wish for Christmas this year is simple. I want a garden with a view that faces east. If that's not possible, please stop playing that "Train is coming" shit at MRT stations. It's driving me nuts.

How to untangle mp3 headphones

Definitely one of the grossest videos I have ever seen, but interesting nonetheless, in a strangely weird way. Do not watch if you have no sense of humour or if you're a fanatical cat lover.


How to Untangle MP3 Headphones - Watch more Funny Videos

What one life taught me.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

- John F. Kennedy

A poignant phrase, one which lends itself well to self reflection. This week, Singapore mourned the loss of one Kwa Geok Choo. Eulogies abounded, tears flowed, and people queued by the thousands, all to catch a glimpse of a great person, to share in the grief of a family, to reiterate all that her life stood for, an unselfish love, a keen intellect, and an indomitable dignity characterised by humility in the face of ostentation.

The tributes were numerous, and deserving. For she had lived a life well lived, juggling twin roles as a family and career woman with equal aplomb. Her impact on the development of Singapore cannot be denied, even as the cynics will be quick to close ranks about their favourite target of dissent, the family and all that it stands for in Singapore.

To fully get a grasp of what kind of lady Mdm Kwa was, one only has to read the anecdotes. One of them, which I still remember, was how she chose to queue in line for the post office, even as the staff of the post office scrambled to let her cut the queue because of who she was. And such incidents were not isolated. It was the humility and dignity with which she conducted her life that was inspiring, rather than anything else about it. And of course, the love that she had for her family and all that she associated with.

But, that is but one life, albeit an inspirational one.

Even as I read the tributes that flowed in from the print media, television and cyberspace, I could not help but wonder how many were simply caught up in the emotion of the moment. It is one thing to be inspired, it is another to live out one's whole life as a changed person in the face of that inspiration. For most people, their loss is nowhere as profound as that of the immediate family members. Most Singaporeans barely knew her as a person. If anything, they only knew about her from the glowing tributes paid to her in her demise, which of course the skeptics may argue was only to be expected.

There is also the fact that she was very much, an anachronism. A brilliant woman in a time that did not value the role of women as movers in society. While her achievements were no doubt commendable, they were mostly so in the context of her times. Nowadays, if a woman was to juggle both her career and family well, people would hardly bat an eyelid. And it is hardly surprising, because we all know such women. There is one in almost every home, and they deserve our respect because we can never thank them enough.

A question often raised is then how we can aspire to such greatness, how we can be like such people. Children are often asked, "when you are younger, what do you wish to be when you grow up?" And inevitably, their answers will reflect the aspirations of their parents for them. "I want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a rich man, or the future President of Singapore."

I often chuckle at the innocence of these kids. As much as their earnestness is sincere and heartwarming, they have absolutely no idea what they have just uttered, or the kind of journey that they will have to undertake to reach where they think they want to be.

As one grows older, it becomes more apparent that for one to do the great things, the things that really matter, are the simple ones, done diligently and with conscientiousness to their application. In an age where material wealth is prized above all else and the pressure to acquire riches can be overwhelming, there are not many that can look beyond all that and realise that money is not everything.

It is apparent in the lives around us, in the neverending need to have a bigger house, flat, or car than our peers. It is apparent even at the highest levels of our governing bureaucracy, where the people on top trumpet stellar economic growth without realising that the life of the average man is only getting harder.

Even as prices rise due to increasing standards of living, which causes families to shrink due to the costs of raising a child, they bring in huge numbers of foreign labour to our shores to maintain an everpresent supply of cheap labour for companies investing in Singapore. And this increased population only serves to drive up living costs further, but of course our population is now growing at a healthy rate, even if it is not really Singaporean.

There is really little one can do individually to influence these systems. Singapore has to remain economically competitive because of what it is, a small nation-state with no resources in a capitalist world. The only thing that is left for us to do is to maintain a strength of character even in difficult times, the simple thing that is very difficult to do.

By strength of chracter, I do not mean a submissive resignation to the inevitable. I mean being a person of integrity, honesty, good sense, and a loving disposition, even as pressures move us to be anything but. There will be the temptations of greed, envy, and many more, that have led people greater than us to fall by the wayside.

Becoming a great person, and great is a very tenuous and vague term here, but I will define it as one worthy of others' respect, is really the product of millions of small decisions. Choosing not to lie, cheat, or be nasty to people who do not deserve it. Choosing to always give one's best, even when it is so much easier not to. Recognising that love is really great in its selflessness, not when one looks to gain something out of it. And finally, having the serenity of character to accept life for what it is, when it cannot go one's way, instead of trying to gain what is not ours.

They are the basis of all religions and moral guides, the simple things. But the reason why they still endure as admonishments, is precisely because they are simple lessons that are very difficult to learn, and even more difficult to apply.

The problem with the facebook "like" button

By Channel NewsAsia, Updated: 02/10/2010

Mrs Lee Kuan Yew dies at age 89

Mrs Lee Kuan Yew (Mdm Kwa Geok Choo)

SINGAPORE : Madam Kwa Geok Choo — the wife of Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew, and mother of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has died on Saturday.

Mrs Lee Kuan Yew, age 89, passed away peacefully at home at 5.40 pm.

A statement from the Prime Minister’s Office said the wake is held at Sri Temasek, official residence of the Prime Minister located within the Istana grounds, from October 4—5.

Visitors who wish to pay their last respects may do so on October 4—5 from 10am to 5pm.

Members of the public may call 6835 6614 for any queries.

A private funeral will take place on October 6 at Mandai Crematorium.

The family requests that no obituaries and no wreaths or flowers to be sent.

All donations will go to the National Neuroscience Institute (NNI) Health Research Endowment Fund.

Madam Kwa was one of 8 children.

An outstanding student at Methodist Girls’ School, she also topped the 1936 Senior Cambridge Examination for the whole of Malaya and Singapore.

At Raffles Institution, she caught the attention of a young Lee Kuan Yew when she gave him unexpectedly stiff competition for a Queen’s Scholarship.

But academic rivalry aside, he knew he had found his equal, and his soul mate.

Their relationship grew through the years of Japanese Occupation, and by September 1944, love had blossomed.

When World War II ended, Mr Lee left to study law in England in 1946. But he was miserable until she joined him at Cambridge University a year later.

The two married secretly on 23 December 1947.

She had just turned 27, and he was 24.

Mrs Lee said: "You can’t explain these things ... He had tremendous aplomb, self—confidence, very jaunty, he was a handsome young man."

When they returned to Singapore in 1950, they tied the knot again, this time with their parents’ full knowledge.

When Mr Lee got more involved in politics and became Singapore’s Prime Minister in 1959, it was Mrs Lee and his younger brother, Lee Kim Yew, who built up and expanded Lee & Lee — the law firm all 3 had set up in 1955.

Mr Lee once said his great advantage was that he had a wife who could be a sole breadwinner and bring the children up.

That was his, quote, "insurance policy," which allowed him to play the role he did in Singapore’s history.

In October 2003 — Mrs Lee suffered a stroke while on a visit to London.

Fortunately, she made a swift recovery and was again seen in public at her husband’s side at community events, and on official trips overseas.

And she was there when Lee Hsien Loong was sworn in as Singapore’s third Prime Minister.

Although she had shied away from a high profile, her contributions to Singapore had been most significant, and pivotal to its history.

"If she weren’t an influence, supposing I had married somebody else, I might have become a different person, not that I would be a different person, but the things that I would have been able to do, the kind of backdrop I would have had, family, support, would have been different," said MM Lee. — CNA /ls

471 people like this.

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I knew that somewhere someone was going to put a facebook "like" button to this piece of news, and people were going to "like" it. It's kind of callous, but hey that's the internet age for you.

At least Channel Newsasia had the common sense to remove the "like" button, unlike xinmsn.