A day in the office.

Being a former student of a well respected institution, one would naturally think that it confers certain advantages. Well, it does. Like how during chinese new year kaypoh relatives stay far away because they don't want to embarass their kids asking about your grades.

They are quite bad by the way. Its the other people in the school that do really well. The collective association is always nice though.

I'm currently working in a part time job, in a factory job packing stuff and also doing data entry in the office. It would be boring if not for the juicy gossip and backbiting. But that's another story.

So I was sending out a batch of about 200 emails when a manager came along and asked me which school I was from. Immediately alarm bells rang in my head. I couldn't lie though because it was in my resume. And also because my supervisor loves telling people he has people under him who come from hwa chong junior college. So I told him so.

Immediately it came. The inevitable sharp intake of breath. The raising of the eyebrows. The pulling away of the upper body. And the "pleasantries".

"Wah... so smart. What are you doing here? You're overqualified for the job."

Well yeah thanks. How about your job then? You want to give me your job? You got your job on an A-level certificate? Cockster.

And after that, the next inevitable question. "So you must be furthering your studies then. Which course are you going into?"

Hey! people pay you to work, you eat snake and kah-jiao the temp. Anyway here's the correct answer to his question. Medicine, law, engineering or sciences.

"Mass comm". Wrong answer! Congratulations! He looks at you like you are the guy who just farted in a crowded lift.

"What? You have such good grades and you chose an arts course?"

Yes I chose an arts course. Why do you make it sound like I am asking you to join me on my final journey?

Its weird how Singaporeans expect all good students to be scientists and professionals but not artists and editors. Then who do you think does your newspapers? Don't tell me its a printer ok.

Sometimes I think about telling people that I'm doing engineering so that I can save myself the silly exchange you see above. Unfortunately I'm a bad liar. If I told you that I'm really a skinny shaved orangutan who escaped from the birdpark you'd believe me.

So I was thinking should I defend my choice of course or should I just ignore this guy? But it so happened that I didn't have to do either because another colleague came by and started talking to him about their children's school grades. What a disgusting discussion topic right? Their children become their pawns in their quest for ego domination and superiority in the office.

I was saved any further questions, because like I said above, nobody wants to ask you about your grades.

The ironies.

Beware. Ironies ahead. Oh, and before of course.

Ooh... What a long break. I love long breaks. The longer the break the less I want to work. Somehow the more time I have the less I do with it. WHY? Well, time to start working.

Are we being too hard on ourselves? I mean Singaporeans are a really unhappy lot. You walk on the streets and everyone is wearing a look that says "I've a pimple on my butt cheek and its chafing against my jeans or I've been conscripted against my will." Or both. Or they could be bemoaning the increasing oil prices, the increasing transport prices, or even the increase in 10 cents of their beloved kopi-o. Whatever.

We are all people who want sympathy when we feel down, but sometimes I guess it goes beyond that. The sympathy is probably part of our greater human need for attention which we get very little of or probably think we have no time to give. Such pragmatists are we.

This nation is far too practical and pragmatic for its own good. I mean I can understand that being a small and more or less insignificant (hey relax people its true! you know it!) country leads to a nation of insecure, humorless, and uptight people, but we really do need to see a lighter side. I see one sometimes, but everytime I point it out people are like "ok, now what?" Even myself sometimes. Hey it doesn't have to earn money to be funny ok?

We might not have beautiful scenery like the Japanese and Koreans, or land to build palaces for the price of a HDB flat. Oh, here's a story I'd like to relate to you. My family once had a maid who had a house at least five times larger than ours back in Indonesia, paid for with our money. It even had an inner courtyard! Gives you quite a bit to think about huh.

But we have... ok I'll be honest with you we honestly don't have much, but Singapore's a good enough place to stay in. Its not a great holiday destination, that's why some places are called holiday destinations and some are called Sentosa!

Its a good home though. I'll be the first one to admit that I'm perfectly happy with staying at home. People call me a no-lifer and shit for that, but I'm happy doing it. And that's all that matters. If going out makes you happy, do it. If only so that my ears have peace. Singapore is full of retards as it is who go out only to find that they really want to go home, and vice versa. It doesn't have enough people who are happy with what they have.

There's also something that I'm still learning to undo that I think my being a Singaporean has something to do with. We constantly have to put down everything that's Singaporean because its well... Singaporean. Such insecure people are we. We are never proud enough of our accomplishments, because we are by nature seemingly ashamed that we even exist. Goodness. You'll never see an American saying in an international competition that his country is shit. Or closer to home, a Chinese guy. Don't give me that they are citizens of big nations shit. There's your inner Singaporean again.

But I'll be the first to admit that I'll do all of the above. Because I'm Singaporean born and bred. See that Sentosa put-down? Shit.

Critical Cubism #7

The cockroach. A weapon of mass panic if there was any. How could you not be disgusted by it. It has hairy legs, it flies around and it stinks. Eww.