What we did in JB

A lot of people have asked me about what I did in JB along with Chang and Sernyong. Well, its really hard to describe because we did a lot of things. So I'm going to put our rough itinerary here.

Immigration. Malaysia pays people to issue you the Customs white card. They pay unnecesary people to give out unnecessary things.

Tried to shop. Many shops were still closed. Chang went for a haircut, and me and SY went to get breakfast at Macs. Don't buy Macs in JB. The fish filet was burnt and I wish the hashbrowns had been more burnt. The only thing edible was the orange juice because they didn't make it themselves. Minute Maid FTW.

Arcade session. Played that game where you throw a million basketballs at a metal hoop. There were also people K-boxing in little mini rooms at one side of the arcade. Like who sings in an arcade? Maybe its where the untalented go to sing so they can't hear themselves.

Lunch - Nothing much happened. This is beginning to sound like those "Describe the picture" sections they have in English and Chinese oral tests.

Headed to Tebrau City. That's like JB's version of Vivocity. It's not bad, only that you shouldn't expect any bargains here, like in Vivocity. After walking around and finding nothing to buy, we decided to watch a movie "Deception" You know why Malaysian movies are so cheap? Deception was rated "over 18", but it was more "G" than Wall.E. The amount of the movie they censor, you actually end up overpaying.

But the good thing is food there, like Dunkin Donuts and Secret Recipe, is very cheap. Its the same price as in Singapore, but in Malaysian ringgit. Only problem is you might get it at half the quality also.

Went for dinner. Before that, we tried to flag a cab. The cabs wouldn't stop for us, so we had to get a cab from this "gathering" of cab uncles who immediately quoted us 20 ringgit. What they basically do is they band together, and all agree to overcharge you. That's the result when cabs don't charge by the meter.

In the one rare occasion we got a cab with a meter while heading back to customs, it charged 5.20 but we had to pay 8 because that was the agreed price. Bloody pirates.

Anyway, if you're heading to JB, here are some additional things you should take note of

1) Bring some Malaysian coins. The toilets there usually require you to pay, and its not very wise to pay RM50 for a 20 sen toilet, unless you want RM49.80 worth of change in 10 and 20 sen coins.

2) Don't be an irritating Singaporean. In other words, don't complain about everything in JB. It may be dirty, some places are smelly, and everything there is quite cheap, but there is no need to say so. And avoid reciting the prices of everything and dividing it by 2. The locals don't need to know that everything is "Cheep! Cheep!", and that you have brilliant mathematical skills by way of the Singaporean education system. Like stop rubbing it in yo.

All about McDonalds.

This post is about McDonalds. If you are Singaporean, you have eaten McDonalds at least once in your life. It was the thing your parents used to shut you up when you were little, until you grew up and realised its actually garbage food. But now, you eat it anyway because you are addicted to the salt and oil.

BUT ANYWAY, that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is to raise something very interesting a friend found out while ordering McDelivery.

Here's the situation. McDonalds, in their haste to offer you "savings" through their extra value meals, did not think very carefully about the pricings of their ala carte items.

Option 1) I order a McWings EVM, and I add a McChicken ala carte. I pay $6.95 + $2.00 = $8.95.
Option 2) I order a McChicken EVM, and I add a McWings ala carte. I pay $5.95 + $4.35 = $$10.30.

Now, what is the problem? I tell you what the problem is. The problem is, I am getting EXACTLY the same thing for both options, but if I pick option 2, I am a retard because I pay $1.35 more to increase the already fat pay cheques of McDonalds executives. For both options, you get a Filet-O-Fish burger, a 4pc McWings, a medium fries and a small drink. So why are the prices so different?

Obviously somebody at McDonalds didn't do their math properly.

In fact, even the McDelivery guy on the phone was confused. He was like "Uh, I think you better order the McWings EVM and add the McChicken, you probably save money. But I'm not sure." Then after that, he did a quick 3 second calculation and went "um I think it doesn't matter. Both options are the same."

The same my bloody arse. You only said that so you can get the extra $1.35 as tips right. Or did McDonalds teach you how to lie to your customers.

Anyway, in another unrelated shocking development. The vanilla cone at McDonalds now goes for 70 cents. Yes, that same one that used to cost 25 cents, then 50, then 60. Its now 70 cents. Very soon, it will cost as much as Häagen-Dazs.

The Singapore smack

What is the Singapore smack? Well, actually I had no idea what to call it, but it only occurs in Singapore, and it consists of repeated smacks.

Basically, it occurs when people are just about to take a seat on public transport, like a bus or MRT. The person will look at his/her seat, and inexplicably, smack it loudly a few times before sitting on it. I was taking a snooze on the MRT when I was rudely awoken by this 60ish old lady smacking the seat beside me 5 times in rapid succession.

I notice this a lot among Singaporeans, especially the older generation. I have no idea why they do it. I'm going to try coming up with a few possible explanations.

1) The seat is dusty, so by smacking it, you get rid of the dust. Well, that might be plausible on a bus seat, but a seat on the MRT? Have you ever seen dust on those? What's more the seats are so hard. How would smacking remove any dust from them?

2) The seat is dirty, so by smacking, they sterilize it. I'm guessing that by doing this they think it can kill the germs, like how they kill mosquitoes. Or maybe they just don't feel secure using a seat that was previously occupied by some unknown person, even if they are only too happy to take it on a crowded train. I'd like to ask them, people put their backside there you go and use your hand to smack, your hand not dirty meh?

I seriously wonder what they do to toilet seats. Or maybe I don't want to know.

3) They feel a need to assert their territory. Like how dogs take a piss to demarcate their territory, they feel that by smacking the seat, it is a declaration of how the seat now belongs to them. This probably came from the old days when people were less civilised and they had to fight for seats on buses. When they finally got the seats, they would smack it to intimidate other people from trying to get the same seat. The more violent and repetitive the smacking, the better.

Or maybe it is a remnant from childhood catching games, where there is a safe house called "Home", and when you smack it, you are safe. When they grew up, they could not get rid of that behaviour. They had played too much catching because in kampungs they had nothing better to do.

Actually, all that is just bullshit. I still really don't get why they do it.