What Christmas means to a Singaporean.

Christmas is a time of celebration, associated with white snowy landscapes, flying reindeer and a certain fat man in a red suit and white beard. It is also associated with expensive Christmas shopping and the making of difficult decisions on whether to buy gifts for people you don't know a lot about.

Honestly, if gifts were up to me I'd request cash upfront. Do it the Chinese way you know. Give people cash but put it in a red packet, call it an angpow and tell them it gives them luck. No guilt, people always love it, and on top of it if they strike 4D using the money you gave them, you can ask them for a treat. If they are "cheena" enough and obliging, you can rub them on the belly like how people rub those fortune god statues.

I love Christmas. You only get big festivals like Christmas that many times in one life, and they remind us of what it is to be human. For one, you don't have to work. When you work, it kind of takes your soul out of you. By giving you your life back, Christmas sets you on the path to finding yourself. You realise that life is not totally about work, and the living room couch never felt more comfortable. Then you realise that you're still paying the installments for your couch. Ow.

I don't get Christmas songs though. They were definitely not written with tropical countries in mind. It is kind of hard to dream of a white Christmas if you are Singaporean, although technically Singapore is "white". I mean, look at our leaders. Perhaps some creative Singaporean composer could come up with a Christmas song for Singapore. But of course, there will be some criteria set on the song by some random ministry, like how it must have the words "Singapore", "home", and "Merlion". And for the music video, Santa Claus is LKY handing out progress packages, and on Christmas morning Singaporeans wake up to find more money in their bank balances.

When I was younger, I used to wonder just how Santa Claus would fare in Singapore. For the record, one of my adult relatives actually told me Santa Claus came in through the rubbish chute in HDB flats. If you thought Santa had it tough overseas trying to squeeze into chimneys, you have not seen the inside of a HDB rubbish chute. Those places, next to rubbish collection centres and sewers, are the closest things to hell on Earth. They are cramped, they smell, and while Santa is trying to clamber through them I would imagine he would have quite a few critters running up and down his clothes. Hohoho! Ticklish!

In any case, Merry Christmas to everyone. Try not to be upset when you get another useless article of clothing for a present. Remember, always do the right thing. Smile, thank the person, and donate said item to the Salvation Army.

Unnecessary dairy overlap - a message to Subway.

Ataque de Pánico! (Panic Attack!) 2009

To the aspiring moviemakers in CS, this film was made for US$300, and after some Hollywood directors saw it on Youtube, the director was offered US$30 million to make it into a new movie.

The sponsor? Sam Raini, the director of Spiderman.

The full article is here, but the movie isn't half bad too. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/8417789.stm