Why guys should hang out with girls more at 21.

A few years ago, when I was a geeky little secondary school kid wearing "unglam" khaki shorts, my parents used to tell me that studying was more important. Girls would come later because they were basically a "distraction". Not that I had any problems there. Girls never gave me trouble. I think it was the shorts. And this is not an invitation for you to add more reasons. Thank you.

But now, a few years later as an adult, the paradigm has shifted very drastically. Now my parents actually ask me why I haven't found a girlfriend. Despite the fact that there is actually a freaking lot more to study in university, they are actually a lot more accepting of me fooling around. Maybe its the anxiousness to see grandchildren getting to them, but I really don't see how the situation now justifies any difference in behaviour. If you ask me, I think it was better to get a girlfriend back then. Now girls simply don't have time for you. And vice versa.

In fact it is actually quite funny how their behaviour has changed. Now, when I tell them I'm going out, they always ask "With guys or girls?"

When I tell them its with guys, they will be like "Ok don't come home too late." When I add on that there are girls too, they will be like "Got enough money or not? I better give you some more money first. Here take fifty more dollars. You want to take the car also?"

And they never tell me to come back home earlier. It would be perfectly ok for me to come back late, or not at all. I actually think they would be delighted if I didn't.

So what does this mean? It basically means that just by adding one word "girls", you get more money, more time to stay out, and even a car if you wish. All of which are good things. What's there not to gain? So my advice to all single adult males is, feel free to let you parents know that you are going out with girls. Never mind if you're lying. The benefits will make you forget your guilt soon enough. Plus, you make your parents feel happier.

And now, for the stupid random moment of the day.

I was in Katong with my friends, and while walking we chanced upon a Poh Kim VCD rental shop. One of us at the back started pointing at it and going "Poh Kim! Poh Kim!" And soon the others at the back, including me, also joined in. At which, one of my friends in front then started poking the guy right in front who was in the direction of the shop. Naturally, the guy got pissed and went "You poke me for what?" He went, "The others said to poke you what."

This is what happens when you don't do a perception check.

Why females fall for jerks

I was just having a discussion, because after reading too much about how the male race basically consists of jerks who treat their girlfriends badly, I felt that I needed to discuss the issue. Almost all relationship jokes consist of some form of male-bashing one way or another.

Guys are thick, they don't get the hints, they are egoistical, insensitive buffoons, motivated primarily by self-interest. In addition, they are always checking out new propsects, on top of being lecherous, smelly, hairy, slimy and I dunno what else la. Read the list guys, and weep. Ok maybe not. Act macho and unaffected perhaps. And thick, clueless, egoistical, blah blah blah...

Are there no good guys left in the world?

So basically, the main point of the discussion was, why do girls like to fall for jerks? Aren't there nice guys around?

And you won't believe the kinds of answers I got. My hypothesis was that girls were naturally not very clever because they didn't know how to sieve out the bad guys from the good when I would think that there are many nice guys around. I wouldn't go so far to say that I am one of them, but yeah I'd like to think of myself as not being a jerk.

I asked Pamy why girls like to fall for jerks. She told me "haha erm well cuz they dont seem like jerks at first". Well ok that's just a another way to say they were good looking, rich, glib or all of the above and hence nothing else mattered, the fact that they were jerks and have shitty character notwithstanding. She then went away and I decided that she had said enough on her part, so I asked someone else.

So I asked Sarah why girls like to fall for jerks. She told me "because the good guys are gay". So I asked her, if I'm not gay and I'm not a jerk, what am I? And guess what, she pulled a new category out of the hat called "commitophobe", which she went on to label "scum".

Great, so now I'm "scum". Being naturally not very happy, I went on asking more questions. I told her that I'd rather be "scum" than a jerk or gay. Guess what she said?

"I think jerk is better than scum. At least girls fall for you"

I will honestly tell you that at that point I was lost for words. Jerks and women are a match made in heaven.

201 - Lesson 1

With the amount of 201 I have been revising, I have now become half of a skilled communicator. Why half? Because I have studied half the textbook. And I shall now proceed to teach 201 - communication for dummies

Lesson 1 - Perceiving and understanding, and verbal communication

This lesson involves two people - Me and a pile of jelly which morphs into any persona I want it to be. Kinda kinky don't you think. Pity I'm not into gelatinous gels.

A demonstration in content level and relationship level meanings
Me: Hey Wah, you're so lame.
Content level meaning: Wah is lame.
Relationship level meaning: Wah is not very good at cracking jokes.

A demonstration of cognitive schemata
Prototype: Tiong
Personal construct: Mugger
Stereotype: Does not speak English well very well. Like how smiling is the same as smelling.
Script: When I say Good morning to X.Ming, he will say "Wo shi Ah Diao!"

Regulative and constitutive rules
Regulative rule: Say "Not me!" when you fart in public
Constitutive rule: Farting in public is a sign that you want the people around you to comment about the environment. "Shit who farted. Its stinks!"

Mind reading, self serving bias, and perception check
Me: Are you thinking what I'm thinking George? (Perception check)
George: I don't know, I know I think too much. Can't help it I'm so darned smart. (self-serving bias)
Me: Are you trying to tell me you're darned smart? (Mind reading) But you are of course, I wouldn't want to offend you because you mark my paper. (Self serving bias)

Next: lesson 2. Listening and creating communication climates.