I had a friend who said one of the more interesting statements I've heard in a long time. He said "Success is dependent on goal setting. If you set a goal you can achieve, you will always be successful. However, if you insist on setting one you can't, you'll always feel like a failure."
He went on to highlight this example by saying "Look at me. I got B C C C for my grades. I only aim to pass, so I've done it. And you know, I think I did pretty well for someone who doesn't study."
I do think that he's right when he says that success is a matter of goal setting. And for someone who doesn't study, he did fantastic. Trust me, he really doesn't. He uses his matriculation card to buy cigarettes.
It was interesting that we had this conversation over dinner when Singapore happened to be playing Saudi Arabia for the World Cup Qualifiers. Remember Goal 2010? Before I had finished my main course, the dream was over, and we were hooting in derision. I don't think anybody even felt remotely sad. I think it was more of a case of us finally realising how very stupid Singaporeans were in thinking they even had a chance of making it.
We're not even the best in South-east Asia. And from there we want to be Asia's representatives for the World Cup? What happened to learning how to walk before learning how to fly? If Uzbekistan can thrash us 7-3, I don't want to know what the likes of Portugal or the Netherlands can do. Really. I don't want to see Singapore enter the Guinness Book of Records for heaviest soccer defeat in World Cup history ever. Can you imagine what it would be like if I were in Holland, and the guy there knows me as the one from the country that conceded twenty goals against their national team.
"Why, even the keeper van der Sar got on the scoresheet. Maybe you should legalise heroin, your team might play better. At least they would be high."
But the overachievers among us would ask what is the point of setting goals that are easy to achieve? Well, all I can say is, do you want to live happily or in misery? Too often we set unrealistic goals. Instead of aiming to lose 1kg, we aim to lose 5. In the end, we end up miserable and gain the 1kg (or more) we're supposed to lose through food therapy. It's better to set many simple goals, than to set one big one and end up nowhere.
Research has shown that the person who finishes third on the podium in a competition is always happier than the second guy. Why? Because the bronze medalist is happy to just have a medal The silver medalist is agonising over the thought that victory was so close, yet so far.
Second is definitely the most miserable position to be in, because the silver medalist has set himself up to fall. By aiming to be the best, he can never be satisfied by anything else. It is really a little too cruel on yourself. Watch how the losing team is always crushed in the final of any sporting event. It would perhaps be easier if the person had aimed to just do the best he is humanly capable of
But all I've written here is bullshit. People will never stop trying to make something of themselves in their too short lives, even if it means running themselves into the ground or onto insurmountable walls. Who dares wins.