The ironies.

Beware. Ironies ahead. Oh, and before of course.

Ooh... What a long break. I love long breaks. The longer the break the less I want to work. Somehow the more time I have the less I do with it. WHY? Well, time to start working.

Are we being too hard on ourselves? I mean Singaporeans are a really unhappy lot. You walk on the streets and everyone is wearing a look that says "I've a pimple on my butt cheek and its chafing against my jeans or I've been conscripted against my will." Or both. Or they could be bemoaning the increasing oil prices, the increasing transport prices, or even the increase in 10 cents of their beloved kopi-o. Whatever.

We are all people who want sympathy when we feel down, but sometimes I guess it goes beyond that. The sympathy is probably part of our greater human need for attention which we get very little of or probably think we have no time to give. Such pragmatists are we.

This nation is far too practical and pragmatic for its own good. I mean I can understand that being a small and more or less insignificant (hey relax people its true! you know it!) country leads to a nation of insecure, humorless, and uptight people, but we really do need to see a lighter side. I see one sometimes, but everytime I point it out people are like "ok, now what?" Even myself sometimes. Hey it doesn't have to earn money to be funny ok?

We might not have beautiful scenery like the Japanese and Koreans, or land to build palaces for the price of a HDB flat. Oh, here's a story I'd like to relate to you. My family once had a maid who had a house at least five times larger than ours back in Indonesia, paid for with our money. It even had an inner courtyard! Gives you quite a bit to think about huh.

But we have... ok I'll be honest with you we honestly don't have much, but Singapore's a good enough place to stay in. Its not a great holiday destination, that's why some places are called holiday destinations and some are called Sentosa!

Its a good home though. I'll be the first one to admit that I'm perfectly happy with staying at home. People call me a no-lifer and shit for that, but I'm happy doing it. And that's all that matters. If going out makes you happy, do it. If only so that my ears have peace. Singapore is full of retards as it is who go out only to find that they really want to go home, and vice versa. It doesn't have enough people who are happy with what they have.

There's also something that I'm still learning to undo that I think my being a Singaporean has something to do with. We constantly have to put down everything that's Singaporean because its well... Singaporean. Such insecure people are we. We are never proud enough of our accomplishments, because we are by nature seemingly ashamed that we even exist. Goodness. You'll never see an American saying in an international competition that his country is shit. Or closer to home, a Chinese guy. Don't give me that they are citizens of big nations shit. There's your inner Singaporean again.

But I'll be the first to admit that I'll do all of the above. Because I'm Singaporean born and bred. See that Sentosa put-down? Shit.

Critical Cubism #7

The cockroach. A weapon of mass panic if there was any. How could you not be disgusted by it. It has hairy legs, it flies around and it stinks. Eww.

Singaporeans need a sense of humour

Here's a joke I heard while I was on exercise. For buddhists you have buddhism. For hindus you have hinduism. For taoists you have taoism. for rainbows you have... rainbowism!

I think some of you might be thinking "Um where's the joke?". You know, I think that was precisely the joke. Because after that the major just laughed his head off like it was the funniest joke in the world! I laughed too, but not because of the joke. I was laughing because of the sight of the staff sargeant trying to laugh along and failing miserably because the joke was just anything but funny.

I think its great that people working still try to be humourous, because they can hardly be said to have a sense of humour. But trying too hard is just sad. It shows that the person has totally lost track of what humour is, which also shows how out of touch the person is with people who actually have a sense of humour.

Onto my topic about people who have lost a sense of humour, I guess I can say half of the fans watching the current season of Singapore Idol don't have it. Why get so worked up over the current season? I mean it doesn't matter if the best singers get voted off. I mean it. Look at last season's winner, Mr. Taufik. What does he do now? Sing? Oh defintely not. The last time you saw him on TV he was probably plugging a 7-Eleven drink.



Oh yeah. I love 7-Eleven. Don't you love it too?

Which brings me back to my current point. Why are all you Idol fans getting into a twist just because of a certain Joakim who you think can't sing? For one I think he'll be much better at selling 7-Eleven than Taufik. That's what the Idol is for man. Selling 7-Eleven.

You really think Singapore Idol is for finding good singers? How stupid are you? If that were the case people would only be allowed to vote once per telephone number. The truth, which I'm afraid some people can't handle, is the whole competition is a popularity contest rigged to earn the most money possible for Singtel and 7-Eleven. Please. Open your eyes and use your brains. Stop voting for the singers. They aren't the people 7-Eleven are looking for. Singtel has already made sure of that. Your good singers would probably be much better striking out on their own now that the fake singing competition has given them a higher profile.

And you know how they tell you that you should vote more for your idols? That's all a Singtel conspiracy man. Its precisely the thing that's keeping Joakim in the competition and Mathilda out, while raking in huge bucks for Singtel. Let me enlighten you on how it works. By asking you to vote more, the one Mathilda fan will vote 150% more, but the 10 rabid Joakim fans thinking that their idol is in trouble will vote 200% more. Who wins? Singtel. And then they do it again till everyone's out of idols to vote for and Joakim's fans are out of moolah.

Next... they will then produce an album for Joakim, for which all these rabid fans will sell their accessories and work part-time to pay for. Who wins? Ken Lim. Nevermind that he "hates" Joakim's singing. Deep down he knows that the rabid girl-fans of Joakim will ensure that he laughs all the way to the bank. Nevermind the bad singing. Half the singers out there can't sing anyway. You just need a pretty face that cons little teen girls into thinking they have a chance with you and they will break the banks and overcome all odds come what may to make sure you will win Idol just so that you can sell more records, and make more money at their expense.

It rocks to be Joakim Gomez man. Just pity those stupid little girls.