Whiny pple make my day

I have become a firm believer in the policy that you don't know how good you've got it until you've lost it. Somehow when I forget it, something will happen that drives that point home like a thumbtack in your backside.

Like how I used to say 203 was boring. I had totally no idea what boring was. The new 203 lecturer is really freaking darn boring. It doesn't help that he likes talking about himself. "You shouldn't be looking to only do one major when you're in university. You should be looking at 2, or if you're willing to kill yourself studying, even 3 majors." Or something to that effect.

Yeah fine. You might as well say "and I have this weird habit of picking my butt crack while I'm studying for my 3rd major cos when I study too much my whole body starts to itch." At least that is more interesting.

The only saving grace is the fact that he also starts later and ends earlier. Seriously I'm so thankful for that because the only thing worse than a boring lecturer is a long-winded boring lecturer.

But going on to my topic about how whiny pple make my day. They totally do. Nowadays when I have MSN conversations with my friends about university life, some will launch into a tirade of how the world is against them, like literally since their class is full of foreigners.

Some others will talk about how no girls want them, and so on. And after hearing them out, I'd think to myself "I sure wonder why no one wants them." I know its darn bad but sometimes you really can't help yourself. Sometimes I even tell myself "Clever girl. I'd do the same if I were you."

And other times I will sit there and soak up their whining like a huge sponge like the caring friend I am. Actually what I really do is surf Youtube, wait for them to finish, then I type some random comment like "ya that's like totally so sad".

Then they will carry on with their me-against-the-world angsty rants until even they get sick of themselves, then they stop. And peace reigns on the world once again. And thus, I do my part for world peace.

If I do this enough, I might win the Nobel prize for peace someday. Or alternatively they could decide that I'm an expert on world peace and invite me to judge for a Miss Universe pageant. Or they could just knock me on the head and tell me to stop dreaming. Which do you think is most likely?

The World of Friends

I'm sure that most of you have heard the phrase "Its such a small world". It is especially used when you meet someone you haven't seen in years and both of you are genuinely surprised, or at least pretend to be, at seeing each other.

Actually, I tell you that phrase mainly applies to Singapore. Because Singapore to most of us, is the world. And it is really darn small, and since the friends you meet along they way are usually of a similar level to you, eventually you're bound to meet them again in university, because Singapore only has a grand total of like... 3 established universities. So you shouldn't really be surprised to see that person you last saw like 10 years ago.

But of course there are obstacles that make it difficult for us not to be surprised. A few months back I had a primary school gathering. I recognised most of the pple there because I had seen them one way or another in the past few years. However, it was the ones that I hadn't seen since primary school that were the most difficult to recall.

Especially those who had changed so drastically (aka become so fat) that if the person told me I once knew him/her, I'd laugh it off until the person got really offended. Its even more embarassing when the person claims he/she knows you so well and you're like "like who the ... is this? how come I totally don't remember you? oh no better not say anything, later damn paiseh one." Then I wait for the person to say something, and I'm like "Oh yah, I remember that, yes!" But I really don't. I'm sorry.

Or worse, you call the person by his/her "name" and the person goes "I'm not (name)". Have fun wriggling out of that one.

In NTU though, I've been waving to pple whose names I don't know and smiling and saying "Hi!", knowing full well that we're both just thinking like "Where the hell have I seen this person before? What's his name? Never mind just say hi and walk away as fast as possible"

It happens so much it makes me wonder if I should just be honest and say 'I really don't remember you. So what is your name and where have I met you?"

But I won't. You know why? Because every time I meet this kind of people, I'll suddenly be "in the process of rushing for tutorial". Even if I'm walking towards canteen A.

The Apple Story

Last night, after returning from round island supper, I was actually in a fluster because it was 1am and I hadn't even started on my 205 aesop fables presentation, which was due in less than 12 hours. I was feeling sleepy and a little nutty from too much prata and laksa, so guess what came out. From the brain! What were you thinking!

This was written in the style of an Aesop fable, but it became so crazy even the lecturer Paul Falzon thought so.

The apple story. A result of Apple envy. Yes all you darned Apple users.

In a small town a long time ago, there was a little shophouse. On the first level, there was a greengrocer, who sold apples. On the second floor, there was a doctor who owned an Apple macbook. It was sleek and white, and the envy of the greengrocer. Everyday, the greengrocer would look at his round green apples, then look at the doctor's sleek white Apple, and feel the envy growing inside.

What few knew however, was the fact that this doctor was extremely dishonest. He had actually majored in English, not medicine. Everyday, he would buy a few apples from the greengrocer, then prescribe them to his patients, telling them that "an apple a day keeps the doctor away".

Since he was a doctor and his patients were rural countryside folk, they believed him and ate the apples, and would emerge a few days later miraculously cured because apples were very nutritious, full of vitamins, minerals and fibre.

With the ridiculous amount of money the doctor was making from his apple scam, he soon bought himself an Apple. The greengrocer, green with envy, decided one day to steal the Apple. The greengrocer waited till the doctor was on his way to buy apples, then he sneaked into the doctor's office and picked up the Apple.

What he did not realise however, not being very intelligent, was that the doctor, finding no greengrocer selling apples, soon returned to his office. The greengrocer, in a panic, threw the Apple out of the window, and it hit the head of a certain Sir Issac Newton who was passing by. The doctor, finding his Apple missing, accused the greengrocer of stealing it and hauled him to court.

In court, the doctor and greengrocer argued their cases. The doctor accused the greengrocer of Apple theft, but the greengrocer denied having ever seen the Apple. In the end, the judge Sir Issac Newton delivered his verdict.

"I do not believe that you, the doctor ever had an Apple, and I believe that you, the greengrocer has seen some apples in your time. Therefore you are both lying. But I do now, however, have an Apple (evil cackling laughter) and I have discovered the law of gravity."

Moral of the story: The dishonest get no credit for being honest. And Newton discovered the law of gravity.