Friday, August 07, 2009

"So what do you do in mass comm?"

I went to a gathering of JC friends, some of whom I haven't seen for the better part of 5 years. As I came from a triple science stream, going into mass communications was one of the oddest choices one could make. People from HCJC triple science go into medicine, law, engineering, pharmacy, basically everything but communications. After all, when you make huge bucks, you don't really need to communicate much. Ever heard the phrase "money talks?" You let your money do all the talking.

The first question I always get posed at such gatherings is "So what do you do in mass comm?" I hate that question. Can you imagine asking a dude in mechanical engineering "So what do you do in mechanical engineering?"

"I do labs, lectures and tutorials. And I try to pick up chicks from arts because chicks are hard to find in engine, but I fail anyway because its easier to understand how cars work."

I share your pain brother. Even after all these millenia, guys still don't understand how females work and I don't think they ever will. It's one of those kinder surprise things. It's a function of the time of the month, the weather, her current emotional state, how much junk food she ate last night, something the ex said to her, and then you take that equation and junk it, because just when you think you've got it, surprise! You're wrong.

If you ever find an equation to unravel the mystery of female behaviour, I will nominate you for the Nobel Prize, because you have done more service to mankind than all the previous Nobel laureates combined. I know it sounds incredulous, but I think people would actually agree with me. There is more than a good chance that you'd win, because the Nobel nomination committees are still made up of men who don't always understand their wives, and women who don't understand themselves.

Sometimes I wonder what makes my friends think a communication degree is all that different. No matter what the major is, I still have lectures and tutorials. But nobody wants to hear about that. So I end up doing a bit of PR, describing the lives of everybody but myself. Oh, I shoot films, design advertising campaigns, and write stories for the school paper.

Every time I tell people we do ad campaigns they are like "Huh so you have an advertising course too? So what's the most interesting slogan you've ever come up with?" And I have literally dug myself into a corner, because if I had a slogan that interesting, I wouldn't be studying. I give them some cheesy slogan I remember from some random ad somewhere and pray they don't realise I stole it.

But they never do. They go like "Oh." And that marks the end of conversation and interest in the topic. It's hard to go on when they have no frame of reference as to just what we do. The running joke among them is that I'm going to take over SPH someday, or appear on Channel 5 news.

If you're from communications, you know that will never happen. I won't take over SPH, because it's easier to earn money heading a charitable organisation, as long as you avoid giving loans to stupid male aides, or try to sue SPH. People are not willing to pay for news because you can get it online free these days, but the same people will give to charities because you can win lucky draws if you donate enough.

As for appearing on Channel 5 news, I don't want to appear there because if it does, it would mean someone found out I've been siphoning peanuts into Swiss bank accounts, building golden taps and giving myself first class SIA air tickets to destinations all over the world.

So what's the correct answer to "So what do you do in mass comm?"

Feel free to be creative and use your imagination. They don't know the truth anyway, or they wouldn't ask.