It is probably hard for people to understand what I mean exactly by the above statement. But people who live it will know. It reaches the stage where you live in a house, but you feel like a tenant. Just another guy renting a room at the back, with the door bolted shut so people just leave you the hell alone.
Of all the troubles you can have, living in a turbulent family is the worst. It is the only one you cannot run from. It is also the one people are least able to understand, because every family is different.
It just becomes tiring dealing with all the shit you have to deal with every day before you leave the house, so that before you're out of the gates, you're already half the person you are. And that much more ready to snap. It becomes so much easier to deal with people outside, because first of all, they aren't that unreasonable, and secondly, you only see them for so long every day, even if they are.
And you dread going home, because you know the shit is just going to continue. I would rent a room but I'm not drawing pay. I would live with my friends but sooner or later they would not be my friends any more.
One day I will be free from all this.
C'est en faisant n'importe quoi qu'on devient n'importe qui