I singaporean and proud of it okay. don't play play.

Today is 9 of August leh, Singapore's national day. It is very important day, because it is public holiday. If you are like me, a normal Singaporean, you don't care so much this history that history, you just happy because can relac one corner.

Singapore ah, 44 already leh. I want to wish Singapore a Happy 44th Birthday la, but I cannot find anyone to sing the birthday song with me. Everybody say number 4 very unlucky, some more got 2. This kind of sway thing, nobody want to do, because later this week still must buy 4D. I ask you ah, 4D also got the number 4 right? So unlucky already, why you still buy?

Anyway hor, everybody also very busy la, because today is holiday. Holiday is for shopping, to makan with friends, to spend time with family. I try to ask my friend sing Majulah Singapura with me, but he say he cannot remember the words. He say last time in school he always never sing one. Actually hor, I sing also dunno what I singing. Dunno why I sing for what.

Oh yah, later today got National Day Parade leh. I tell you ah, every year I see NDP I very happy. If not for NDP I still don't know Singapore got President. President do what one ah? Then every year, NDP got a lot of performances, but all no meaning one. Always got lots of people run around in colourful costumes make pattern, but actually it is very boring. The NDP song also not nice. If you burn into CD go and sell, confirm lose money. Pirated CD shop also don't want your business. Everybody know, but nobody say, so I say. Everybody only go NDP for the fireworks.

Actually right, fireworks also no good. Every year, the fireworks go into the sky, all the children very happy, but all the adults cry. You know why? Because all our taxpayer money all spend up there.

You know ah, people always say that Singaporeans everything also want to complain. I don't know why they like to say that la. I think they are being unfair to Singaporeans. I don't care, I must complain.

I want to complain about how everything in Singapore becoming very expensive. Don't know why they go and film some Phua Chu Kang rap for courtesy campaign, then play on the MRT TV you know. The rap so irritating, I hear already all the swear words come out. Swear already ah, thirsty you know, very tiring one. But nowadays ah, take MRT cannot drink water, later kenna fine $500.

Then everytime go outside eat, pay GST nehmind, they ask you pay 10% service charge when there is no service. COE, road tax, petrol and parking also going up, so cannot buy car. Then government nothing better to do go and build IR to create job. End up, all the job nobody want, and Singaporeans still cannot play casino. I tell you, want to gamble, very simple one. One table, four people, all play mahjong. Huat ah!

Then right, nowadays economy bad nehmind. Singapore still go and import so many foreigner, until no space to keep, have to build one dorm in Serangoon Gardens. Make me scared you know. I wonder when become my turn. My side already got a lot of construction, don't know got how many banglas and chinamen. Later my side kenna, my house price drop, who going to compensate me?

I know no minister stay there that's why can build dorm right. Why don't you go and build one dorm in Bukit Timah, then I tiam tiam. No skill foreigner also import, got skill one also import, next time Singaporean in Singapore where got job? I know Singaporeans don't want kids la, but using this kind of method to increase population a bit play cheat right. The Singaporeans also not Singaporeans.

Okay la, I complain enough already. I am supposed to wish Singapore a happy birthday. See la, I complain until I forget.

Happy 44th Birthday Singapore! Hope next year economy recover, and got no more H1N1. Remember, later at 8.22pm, must say pledge hor!

I know la, I also never say for over 10 years already. I hope they got subtitle.

"So what do you do in mass comm?"

I went to a gathering of JC friends, some of whom I haven't seen for the better part of 5 years. As I came from a triple science stream, going into mass communications was one of the oddest choices one could make. People from HCJC triple science go into medicine, law, engineering, pharmacy, basically everything but communications. After all, when you make huge bucks, you don't really need to communicate much. Ever heard the phrase "money talks?" You let your money do all the talking.

The first question I always get posed at such gatherings is "So what do you do in mass comm?" I hate that question. Can you imagine asking a dude in mechanical engineering "So what do you do in mechanical engineering?"

"I do labs, lectures and tutorials. And I try to pick up chicks from arts because chicks are hard to find in engine, but I fail anyway because its easier to understand how cars work."

I share your pain brother. Even after all these millenia, guys still don't understand how females work and I don't think they ever will. It's one of those kinder surprise things. It's a function of the time of the month, the weather, her current emotional state, how much junk food she ate last night, something the ex said to her, and then you take that equation and junk it, because just when you think you've got it, surprise! You're wrong.

If you ever find an equation to unravel the mystery of female behaviour, I will nominate you for the Nobel Prize, because you have done more service to mankind than all the previous Nobel laureates combined. I know it sounds incredulous, but I think people would actually agree with me. There is more than a good chance that you'd win, because the Nobel nomination committees are still made up of men who don't always understand their wives, and women who don't understand themselves.

Sometimes I wonder what makes my friends think a communication degree is all that different. No matter what the major is, I still have lectures and tutorials. But nobody wants to hear about that. So I end up doing a bit of PR, describing the lives of everybody but myself. Oh, I shoot films, design advertising campaigns, and write stories for the school paper.

Every time I tell people we do ad campaigns they are like "Huh so you have an advertising course too? So what's the most interesting slogan you've ever come up with?" And I have literally dug myself into a corner, because if I had a slogan that interesting, I wouldn't be studying. I give them some cheesy slogan I remember from some random ad somewhere and pray they don't realise I stole it.

But they never do. They go like "Oh." And that marks the end of conversation and interest in the topic. It's hard to go on when they have no frame of reference as to just what we do. The running joke among them is that I'm going to take over SPH someday, or appear on Channel 5 news.

If you're from communications, you know that will never happen. I won't take over SPH, because it's easier to earn money heading a charitable organisation, as long as you avoid giving loans to stupid male aides, or try to sue SPH. People are not willing to pay for news because you can get it online free these days, but the same people will give to charities because you can win lucky draws if you donate enough.

As for appearing on Channel 5 news, I don't want to appear there because if it does, it would mean someone found out I've been siphoning peanuts into Swiss bank accounts, building golden taps and giving myself first class SIA air tickets to destinations all over the world.

So what's the correct answer to "So what do you do in mass comm?"

Feel free to be creative and use your imagination. They don't know the truth anyway, or they wouldn't ask.

The 3 minute attention span.

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

-- from "Leisure," by W.H. Davies

Before the Internet came along (I sound like a dinosaur writing this), I could lose myself in a book for hours, just voraciously reading everything that came along. I remember that as an inquisitive 10 year old, I got myself extremely interested in botany.

I made several trips to the Tampines Regional Library, and just kept borrowing every single book they had on plants. I became a little professor on leaves, trees and everything green. There was a point when I could walk on the road and name you about half of the trees and shrubs I saw. The angsana tree, the flame of the forest, the champagne bottle palm, the rain tree, just to name a few of the more common trees that dot our streets.

Then I discovered Command and Conquer: Red Alert and any hope of me ever being a botanist was destroyed.

Progressing in that vein into the adult I am today, I realise I have a terribly short attention span. I can't watch a Youtube video that lasts more than 5 minutes before I start to load other videos to watch. I can't read an article that requires me to scroll down more than twice.

Even when I'm watching dramas, I need to do something every now and then to keep myself interested. I will pause the video every few minutes, get a drink, download an mp3, switch on the TV, then continue watching my show, switching to my TV once in awhile when the show on my laptop gets boring.

Can you imagine what it's like with work? Here's how I typically work.

I type one line of my assignment. Time for munch. Then I find a book I've been wanting to read, and I read 10 pages before I eye my tennis racket, and start swishing it around like Roger Federer minus the class, or Serena Williams minus the muscles.

After I'm done mucking around with my racket, I pick up my guitar and start strumming a random song. Then I realise I've got a good riff going and I head to my piano and start pressing out random notes. After terrorising the neighbours with my terrible piano playing, I pick up the newspaper and read the comics. I'm a terrible choice to be a journalist really, because I still love pictures more than words.

Then someone calls me and says "Hey let's go watch HBP. It has Emma Watson." And I go like "Okay you pedobear" and I head out of the house. I know she's 19 now but this guy has been telling me let's go watch Harry Potter because it has Emma Watson since like the 2nd film or something. I know, too much information.

A few hours later, the realisation hits me. "Oh shit. My assignment."