"Eh, that piece of food drop on the floor more than 5 seconds already, cannot eat".
I'm sure you pple out there have heard something like this before. Or maybe you heard about its cousin, the 7-second rule. 2 more seconds to grab that food bit. Yay.
Well, is it true then? In this present day and age you would probably just Google "food 5-second rule". So I did, and I found out that it is apparently true. In a study, food picked up E.coli bacteria after 5 seconds.
So I guess the 5 second rule actually works. However, think about this. If food picks up E.coli from a cleaned and disinfected floor, then why not our plates and tables? And why not every other freaking surface on this planet? Why not from the atmosphere too while I'm at it?
Have you just realised how redundant this rule is? Oh, enlightenment!
My advice to you is this, if you really want to eat something off the floor, just do it because you won't die from it, and you'll satisfy your warped craving. While you're worrying about the E.coli on the floor, the E.coli on your plate is rolling all over your food. If you are really afraid of 5 more seconds of E.coli, you might as well stop eating. Then you'd die. And that's a lot worse than food poisoning.
Since I'm onto food here, let me recount this experience I had while I was eating out. I was eating at this restaurant on Saturday and while I got my food fast, my friend was left waiting till I had finished my whole set meal before he got his food. Considering I eat pretty slowly that's quite unacceptable. So when his food finally came, I remarked to him that I was lucky I hadn't ordered his item because it took so long. Guess what? The waitress serving the food then gave me a very dirty look, akin to if I had just called her a "nasty bitch with unshaven armpits."
Naturally I wasn't very happy that someone had taken offence with my casual remark. In the first place, there was nothing wrong with my remark, because the food was truly slow to come. I suppose they were still trying to catch the fish when my friend ordered the item.
Secondly, you don't piss off your customers because they pay your wages so that you can rise to a higher lifeform other than the lowly waitress.
Thirdly, I didn't call you a nasty bitch with unshaven armpits. So why the look?
Fourthly, yes there's a fourth, my friend's food probably picked up like 20 more minutes of E.coli! That's 240 times more than the acceptable limit! Gasp!
Actually that's not much of an issue. I just threw it in because I wanted four reasons. Three just wasn't enough.
After that meal, my friends and I went for a walk around the shopping centre. We passed by an ice-cream store that had this big sign saying "94% fat-free!". My friends then remarked that that probably means that the last 6% is pure fat. How true right?
Well, I don't give a shit. I'm not affected cos I'm one of those born to endorse slimming centres. In other words those who don't need slimming centres. Wahaha!
Yeah I know I'm a lucky (insert random expletive). Whatever. I've also found out that having such a gift makes you very unpopular around ice-cream parlours. My friends were like "should I eat, I'm afraid I'll get fat". And I was thinking like "how many scoops?" So I usually end up not eating any because it just isn't very nice to eat like 3 scoops of ice-cream while your friends look mournfully at you having finished their one pathetic scoop.
Its really sad when I see pple eating broccoli "only because its good for them" while I eat ice-cream and cheesecake like there's no tomorrow. Its even worse that I actually eat broccoli because I'm truly omnivorous, unlike some carnivorous friends of mine who eat broccoli only so that they don't get constipation. Yes, there are pple who actually eat broccoli willingly in this world, just like there are people who never get fat. Or better still, both. And no, we're not from outer space.
Food, E.coli, broccoli, whatever.
P.S. As of now, there are no broccoli plants or people that come from outer space. If you ever find any please let me know. I will feed the outer space broccoli to the outer space guy and see if he dies from it.