I have two friends who don't like chilli very much. They ordered the same item, and one of them said “少辣”, and the other said “不要辣”. We also ordered two side orders. Between the arrival of the first and last item in the same order, there was a waiting time of 20 minutes. This is not counting the time we waited before that till the first item appeared. Which meant that by the time the last unfortunate guy got his food, everyone else had finished theirs.
But that wasn't the worst of it. My two friends who had made special requests for less chilli, well, their orders arrived, and the two bowls were filled with chilli. There was literally a mound of chilli powder floating on the noodle soup in both bowls. You know, when people make special requests, they usually have good reasons? This was just farcical.
My friend had them double check the order. Apparently, the waitress had written "More spicy", and "Not so spicy". Like seriously what is wrong with these people. When we wanted to change the bowls, she said "Oh its okay, the one who wanted no chilli can take the bowl with slightly less chilli, and the other person can take the one with slightly more chilli." Slightly more my arse. There was enough chilli powder in either to kill a cow. What about I take the chilli powder and shove it up your backside. Okay maybe not, with you being such a pain in the arse, you might actually enjoy it.
It wasn't the best solution, but we were out to catch up, so we decided to leave it at that.
After that our side order eventually arrived, but only one did. We waited 20 minutes for the next one, before we were told "The second side order didn't turn out too well, so we have to prepare it again. Do you want to wait for it or do you want something else?" Fed up with waiting, we ordered something else, which took even more time to arrive.
After this entire incident, we were rightfully pissed, so we decided to call for the bill and leave. We waited another 10 minutes just to receive the bill, at which point we were like this is stupid, let's just leave. The moment they saw us leaving, the waitress immediately rushed over and asked us if we wanted the bill. Well actually yeah, didn't we ask you for it 10 MINUTES AGO?
It took another 10 minutes for them to swipe our credit card, so we decided no way we are paying the 10% service charge. Really, what service? We spoke to the cashier and she was like "No you cannot not pay the service charge."
Yeah right fuck you understand. We told her we wanted to see her manager. Her manager was more accommodating, and she said okay we can't refund you in cash but we can give you a $10 voucher for dessert. We were quite happy with that arrangement, because we were heading off for dessert anyway, so the group of us started celebrating the fact that we didn't have to pay the 10% service charge in front of the restaurant.
Then my friend saw a poster. He was like, "Eh, why does it look so familiar?" Here's a picture of the poster.
What the bloody FUCK. We were entitled to this voucher ANYWAY because we had spent a total of $102 on our meal. Which means the manager had just "refunded" us our service charge by giving us something we were already entitled to! And we were celebrating in front of this poster like a bunch of morons!Obviously at this point, we were so angry, you cannot even begin to imagine. Not only had we experienced bad service, we had just been taken for a ride. We went back again to the manager, and we badgered her till we got our 10% refund in cold hard cash. Our bill then became $93, but we kept the voucher anyway. We felt we were entitled to it in light of their shitty service and devious trickery. It sure was smart, but we aren't that dumb either.
Even while eating dessert though, there was more to come. We were eating at Andersen's, and my friend decided to ask the waiter for his recommendation, because he couldn't decide. Here's the conversation.
Friend: Well, I can't decide between the brownie or the banana split. You work here, so which do you recommend?"
Waiter: "Well, it depends on your really, the brownie is very good, but then again, so is the banana split. Both are very good."
小二，老板付你薪水来讲废话的吗？不然，废话怎么会这么多？
You know, when we ask you for a recommendation, it is because we trust that you have enough brain matter and experience to help us make an informed decision. Humans have brains for a reason. Use them.
Seriously.