"I can't, I'm playing the piano and I need my hands."
So she set the platter aside. Then she started on a discussion that I had heard many times before. "You know you and your brother ah, every time quarreling must use the F-word. Our neighbours hear already must be wondering why these kids' parents never teach their children properly. I never hear my friends' kids using these words. Only Ah Bengs and Ah Lians use these words. You are well educated, I don't see why you should use these words."
Usually I'd just let this drivel slide, because I'd heard it many times before. But today I decided to make a case for why I thought she didn't have a point.
So I told my mom, "I'm quite sure your friends' kids use these words too."
Mom: I never hear them using these words.
Me: Why would they use them in front of you? Do you ever see kids misbehaving in front of their mom's friends? Do you live with them 24/7? Were you there when they stubbed their toe?
Mom: Our neighbour's a lecturer. If he hears what you two shout at each other every day he will think our family is not well educated.
Me: If he really thinks that then I wouldn't want to be a student in his lecture. He would obviously not be very bright.
My mom left the room after trying to pinch my cheek for being too much of a smartass. But I mean, I certainly do think that guys should swear, but responsibly. You might think I'm talking rubbish here, but I'll make my case here.
Guys who swear all the time are just crass, while those who don't swear at all are probably not very masculine to start with. The key is getting that balance just right, so you appear like you have a rugged masculine character but you don't look like an piece of beng trash while you're at it. I mean, if you call yourself a guy and you don't go "$@%*!" after stubbing your toe, you're not a guy.
Swearing can actually be a good thing. This is what I found off BBC News, on an article dated on the 13th of July this year.
"A study by Keele University researchers found volunteers who cursed at will could endure pain nearly 50% longer than civil-tongued peers.
While it is not clear how or why this link exists, the team believes that the pain-lessening effect occurs because swearing triggers our natural 'fight-or-flight' response.
They suggest that the accelerated heart rates of the volunteers repeating the swear word may indicate an increase in aggression, in a classic fight-or-flight response of downplaying a weakness or threat in order to deal with it."
I actually printed the article out. The next time my mom starts on that swearing thing again, which I know she will, I will show her this article. You don't argue with science.