It's never easy having a bad day. Somehow days like that always start off innocuously, and end up being so eff-ing terrible you're left gasping for breath. And sometimes, they don't end for days on end.
Life is never really easy. And I realize this at 22. Never mind that my birthday was overshadowed by people telling me all about their A level results. My birthday this year happened to be associated with untold misery or unbridled joy. The glass is always half full, and yet, half empty. For some people, this was the happiest day of their lives. For others, they will always remember this day with no small amount of anguish.
Are you one of those people who feel that birthday people are special? That the day belongs to the birthday person? I do. But sometimes, the day does not belong to you. And sometimes, no matter what you do, it will never belong to just you. It is not a matter of choice, but you can choose how you react to it.
However difficult it may be, because no matter what, you will be disappointed inside if it matters enough.
Instead of feeling special on my birthday, I had to help others pick up the pieces as they realised that their 2 years in JC had not ended the way they wanted it to. I could be resentful, I could be sad, but that would be ignoring the many other people whom I know well, and even those I barely do, who offered a hand and wished me a very happy birthday. For me, it meant a lot that even those who weren't that close to me wished me a happy birthday, because they overcame that invisible barrier that separates people who aren't on familiar terms.
And for those that I'm on better terms with, I'm happy that they remembered, because they have shown that they value me as a friend. I do appreciate all the little things they did. Like burning me a playlist. Writing me a card. Putting up with my nonsense. Or singing me a song telling me not to "abuse cats". With all the wishes that I've received, the least I can do really, is to have as happy a birthday as I can possibly have.
Somehow, when we have bad days, the bad stuff that happens overshadows everything, and we do not see the light behind it that is clamoring to get in. We fail to see that there are many friends who do care about us, simply because we are so lost in our misery. And in being lost, we end up hurting those we care about most.
We become the people that we hate. The cold insensitive people who pick on us, who bring us down, who betray our trust and friendship, who want us to be like them, dark and twisted and trapped in their own little cynical world, devoid of faith in people and in life.
But maybe, we shouldn't fault ourselves. We are only human. We have our good days, and our bad ones. And for the bad ones, sometimes, its really a lot easier to just break down and cry, or turn cold in a flash, because we don't really know what ails us, and we don't really want to break out of that cloud around us until we find out what it is.
But everything is always better after a good sleep. If there ever was anything that was the silver lining, that would be it. If you're going through a rough time, hang in there because its always better after you wake up the next morning. And when you do, remember that there are still those who do care about you.