The kitchen is a mess again, so I head out to buy some dinner. It's a relief to have an excuse to do that actually, because I'm sick of my own cooking.
As I step out, I quickly realise that the stairway looks different. There's some white powdery substance all over the linoleum on the 3rd level. I have no idea what it is, but I had to admit my first thoughts were anthrax. I've been brainwashed too much by the Singapore government. I mean, I actually believed Mas Selamat was in Singapore eating berries, even though I've never seen any berries in the forests.
In any case, anthrax is too expensive to be wasted on random staircases killing Brits who are trying their best to kill themselves with alcohol anyway. Just buy them a crate of beer. They'd kill themselves, and thank you for it.
I take a few steps down one flight of stairs, and there's a handful of french fries in a corner. I gingerly step past them, and down another flight, I see a plastic cap that came from a McDonald's paper cup, and the cup a few seconds later, squashed into the railings. At the second level landing, I see several brown stains in the linoleum, probably the Coke from that cup, and the same white powdery substance all over the floors, only that the white patches are more numerous, and bigger here. Further on, I see a discarded salt container, with a crushed up cap. So that's what the white powdery substance is. There's also some miscellaneous debris that used to be food but now just looks disgusting.
Down the last flight of stairs, I see the door that leads to the lobby. The glass in the door is smashed. Someone's been kicking it in again. Every week someone does that for the glass on the door for every single level. I just wish someday they would have the sense to use a thick pane of clear plastic so that the son of a bitch who kicks in the glass every week will kick it and break his toe. Then when I see a person around with a broken toe, I will ask him "Tried to open the door with your foot again? Next time use your hands. Doors have handles for a reason."
Upon entering the lobby, I realise there's a really sick smell in there. Like literally, a smell that smells like sick that makes you want to sick.
I look in the corner, and outside the door of one of the ground level flats there's a stack of containers with old curry inside them. Okay, very very old curry, judging from the smell. And some of it is in the linoleum of the lobby, soaked in so that the linoleum now has orange splotches. I quickly press the door exit button and run out into fresh air.
Yet another episode of Food Wars, or what happens after drunks come back from the bar and head into the kitchen, and realise its actually massive fun to throw the contents of the kitchen at each other. Well I don't doubt it is fun, but you don't shit where you eat/live right? I don't understand the logic behind inviting your friends to mess up your flat so that they go home happy and you live with the aftermath the next morning.
Oh hell. In my last week here I'm going to join in the food war. I've got a bottle of salt, a whole litre of cooking oil, and lots of other random shit. It's time for the Singapore dude to fight back. For the Merlion and old Harry Lee!
Damn I wish I'd never said that. What a terrible set of last words.